And we all lived Happily Ever After…………….NOT!

So after all these years I knew what I was and was able to tell my girlfriend.  At the time it seemed like all the weight I had been carrying around for the last 13 years was finally lifted.  I had someone I could talk to about it and tell my conflicted feelings to.

It was my Girlfriend who took me on my first make up shopping experience,  let me tell you I was so nervous that day I could hardly breath.  We decided to take a look at Wal-mart and I was just going to point out what I wanted and she would grab it and take it through the check out.  Let me tell you my first picks were TERRIBLE.  Turns out back then I had no sense of color or the foresight to look around and see what real woman were wearing.  Although at the time bright red lipstick seemed like a good idea in the mirror I could tell it was not.

This situation was good for awhile but let’s just say I have a tendency to push things too far,  and I did.  I seemed to  try and insert the fact that I was a crossdresser into every conversation we had,  and kept pestering her to help me buy stuff.  Looking back I can see I was annoying as hell (even though I still do it to a lesser extent) with all the pestering.

We did end up moving in together and it was about this time I got my first real introduction to the internet,  and did that experience ever open up my eyes.  I was introduced into a world where any possibility could happen.  I spent many a sleepless night surfing the web looking for resources, tips, clothes,  and make up.  The biggest revelation was the fact that I could get a program and actually chat with other crossdressers around the world.  I can still remember the first night I was able to use ICQ and connect with another person that felt like I did and had the same feelings growing up as me.  The internet at that time was my window into a new world.

And now we end up here in the present.  I have grown a little bit although I do not go out dressed.  There is no way without a team of professional make up artist’s that I would have a snowballs chance in hell of passing and that’s ok with me.  I am more that happy to slip on a dress and relax in in my own home

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

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