So after all these years I knew what I was and was able to tell my girlfriend. At the time it seemed like all the weight I had been carrying around for the last 13 years was finally lifted. I had someone I could talk to about it and tell my conflicted feelings to.
It was my Girlfriend who took me on my first make up shopping experience, let me tell you I was so nervous that day I could hardly breath. We decided to take a look at Wal-mart and I was just going to point out what I wanted and she would grab it and take it through the check out. Let me tell you my first picks were TERRIBLE. Turns out back then I had no sense of color or the foresight to look around and see what real woman were wearing. Although at the time bright red lipstick seemed like a good idea in the mirror I could tell it was not.
This situation was good for awhile but let’s just say I have a tendency to push things too far, and I did. I seemed to try and insert the fact that I was a crossdresser into every conversation we had, and kept pestering her to help me buy stuff. Looking back I can see I was annoying as hell (even though I still do it to a lesser extent) with all the pestering.
We did end up moving in together and it was about this time I got my first real introduction to the internet, and did that experience ever open up my eyes. I was introduced into a world where any possibility could happen. I spent many a sleepless night surfing the web looking for resources, tips, clothes, and make up. The biggest revelation was the fact that I could get a program and actually chat with other crossdressers around the world. I can still remember the first night I was able to use ICQ and connect with another person that felt like I did and had the same feelings growing up as me. The internet at that time was my window into a new world.
And now we end up here in the present. I have grown a little bit although I do not go out dressed. There is no way without a team of professional make up artist’s that I would have a snowballs chance in hell of passing and that’s ok with me. I am more that happy to slip on a dress and relax in in my own home
Thanks for reading