Getting over my Shopping Fears.

shopping fears

While browsing through the makeup aisle recently,  I thought about how long it has taken me to get to the point where I am comfortable enough on my own to head into the store and look at and buy whatever makeup or clothes I want.  It’s been about 20 years since I bought my first items of makeup with my Wife’s (Then Girlfriend) help.  Since then it’s been a long trip learning how to shop for makeup and clothes by myself.  It took me a long time to bring my confidence level up to the point where I am able to head out and shop on my own which I think is better for both of us,  don’t get me wrong I love shopping with the wife but when shopping for Cynthia it can be stressful.  My wife does not wear a lot of makeup to begin with so she does not really enjoy browsing.

I can still recall like yesterday how our first trip went.  After telling the wife about Cynthia I had asked if she would help me pick up some makeup.   She agreed and we headed to the local Wal-Mart.   I can remember sitting on the car waiting to go in and shaking like a leaf I was so stressed out.  I wanted the entire Covergirl Fall line at that time but I was not able to afford it.  We were both a little nervous about the whole situation and just wanted to get in and out as fast as possible.  Some bad choices were made,  but we were young and it was a learning experience.

Shopping trips went on like this for years,   heading into stores with a vague idea of what I wanted or needed with the wife quietly asking me questions.  This caused the wife much stress as she was always worried that someone would overhear that our purchases were not for her, but me.  I admit I was worried about this as well back then,  but that faded.

It took a long time for me to reach the F**K it moment and realize that no one cares what you are buying,  they just want to go home.  It was also getting annoying for the wife to have to go out and help every time I wanted something new from the stores,  and I can totally agree with that.  I am not going to lie,  It was so easy for me to drop into a pink fog,  it was not even funny.  I cannot even imagine what it was like living with me at those times.

It was the perfect storm that helped me get off my ass and over my fears.  Firstly one of my favorite stores was having a 70% off sale which meant I could get the bra set I had my eyes on,  and only for about 17 dollars.  Secondly the wife was sick at the time and was in no shape to be heading out in the crappy January weather.  I knew it was now or never,  I checked online and made sure the items I wanted were still in stock in store,  I made my list and waited till I was done work and headed off to Addition Elle.  I did have a friend who offered to take me as well,  but I knew if I did not do this on my own now I never would.

With list in hand, I sat in the car for at least a good 10 minutes waiting for the store to look a little more empty.  When it looked quiet I headed in and straight up to a sales assistant at the front counter and asked for some help getting some presents for my wife,  she was more than willing to help and thought my list was a great idea.  I am sure while talking to her I was as red as a beet but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care.  In no time she had found 3 of the 4 items I really wanted and was ever so helpful in finding something very close to the last one I wanted.  I paid my bill and left the store with my purchases and felt as high as the clouds that I had done this myself.

Of course, once I had completed this task it just seemed to get easier and easier.  Soon I was not even taking a list in with me,  just walking in and heading right over to the sale racks,  looking through and grabbing what I wanted.  Not more mention of buying for my wife because no one ever asked me,  no one really seemed to care as long as I paid and went on my way.  It was true about what they said,  SA’s don’t care (at least from my experience) what the purpose of your visit as long as you be courteous,  pay and leave.

It was not long before I was applying my new-found courage to the makeup aisle as well,  taking my list along with me if I was ever asked if I needed help.  A list is a must have for the makeup aisle just because of the sheer number of brands and products available.  I have been approached only about 3 times while browsing for makeup.  The worst part was going through the checkout and I was sure the lady scanning was going to look up and see who was purchasing the foundation.  Not once did she look up from her task of scanning my items to verify if it was a male or female buying the items.

This post is not a damnation of people who feel they can’t go out and buy for themselves yet.  I was in your heels at one time and I know exactly how you feel.  You may never become comfortable enough go out and get stuff on your own and that’s completely fine.  So many more options are around you could buy everything you ever need and not talk to another human being.

Some tips I have.

  • Do make a list.  Some clothing store websites have the option to check stock,  but it might only be updated every 24 hours.  Make sure you have some backup pieces if needed.
  • Pick stores with self-checkouts.  This can limit your needed interaction with clerks if this makes you nervous.
  • Take proper measurement to reduce returns.  If you are not going to be trying clothes on you will want to make sure you get the proper size.
  • Read reviews before buying products.  I find Makeupalley is great for this as it’s all people who have brought the product.
  • Don’t break your bank,  pick a few items you need and just get those.

When it comes down to it no matter why you are Crossdressing it should be fun and exciting and shopping is just part of it.

 

Thanks for reading

cyn_sig2

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2 thoughts on “Getting over my Shopping Fears.

  1. I certainly understand what you felt and what you went through. I’m also on the other side now, not worried about shopping wherever the heck I please, and prepared to ask for what I need or am looking for.

    Yes, we’ve all been there, shopping for “presents,” Halloween costumes, and the like. It was all so tiresome. For a time I ordered mostly on Amazon where with Prime I could return items easily if they didn’t fit or look right.

    A year ago a girlfriend took me shopping at The Rack and to Sephora. I piled items into my cart, scared to death. I even had to return something that had an unnoticed hole, which I did by myself. Slowly I learned that the merchants just want my business and the shoppers don’t care.

    Today I shop with abandon, wherever I want. Hold your head high and proud, snug up your bra straps, and head on in. It’s wonderful to be authentic.

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