More Small Steps.

10 months, or

292 days, or

7,008 hours, or

420,480 minutes, or

25,228,800 seconds since the last time I was able to dress, here is a little back story.

After the first lockdown here in Ontario, we ended up letting our kid’s partner move in with us as his home life was not going great at the time. Sometime around July, he moved in with us and there were some massive changes for all of us. I had the little things I could do like shave my legs and underdress but that was about it, even trying to paint my toenails was like undertaking a marathon and let’s not even get into the fact about people not knocking before entering a bedroom.

But after the last few months, he started talking with his parents, and recently he moved back in with them. Of course after so long of not dressing all I could think about was dressing again, just one problem, I have never actually dressed in front of my kid, and seeing as our numbers are yet again going back up around here there no chance they would be going out for the night any time soon.

Our kid has offered before to hide out in their bedroom so I would have the space to dress but I would rather not dress than have the kid stuck in their room. So I ran it past the wife about asking the kid how they would feel seeing me dressed, she said it was a good idea.

A little more back story on our kid, they were born female but came out as gender fluid sometime in 2016. I had always said that I would never tell any of our children about my dressing, it is a major part of me but I didn’t feel it was a secret that I would burden my kids with. Coming back to 2016 and our kid coming out, the wife and I decided that it may now be a good idea to tell the kid so they did not think they were alone in the world although I don’t identify as gender-fluid, to be quite honest I don’t really know how I do identify, that’s for another post.

Back to the story.

I decided that I would talk to the kid that night, but sometimes best-laid plans don’t go so well. Maybe it was because I had psyched myself up for the entire day but Friday night I could not bring myself to ask them at all, I decided to try again Saturday. After doing some running on Saturday I was playing some video games while the kid was doing some art beside me and I just blurted out and asked if they would be okay seeing me dressed, their answer was as I expected, a “YES”.

The blouse I was wearing. My literal favorite top!

The rest of the day was fairly boring, we ate some supper around 4 and spent some time watching Netflix before I headed off to have a shower. It’s been around 10 months, and I have let some areas of my face grow in more than I should so that needed to all be cleaned up. Plus, as this may be the last few times I can dress this season I decided I would get rid of the chest hair as well. I did not to get too crazy for this first time and I just decided to wear a really nice floral print blouse and a really great fitting pair of jeans, I figured makeup would be too much work and maybe too much for the first time.

When I was all ready, the kid was in watching some videos with my wife and I planted myself in the comfy chair and played some video games while I waited. When they finally came out there was not even a “WOW” moment, they just came out and sat on the couch like every other day. My wife double-checked with how they were feeling seeing me like that and the kid replied, “it’s just clothes”. So the rest of the evening was spent just chilling in the living room as if nothing else was going on.

I had planned on getting dressed up again on Sunday afternoon and this time going for some makeup as well. The plans did just not work out the way I had intended them to, in the morning I went out to get groceries and after I got all the cold stuff put away it was so nice out the three of us decided to head out for a walk. After walking around our neighborhood for a bit we headed back home, grabbed a bite to eat and I tried to lay down for a nap.

I can’t really say I slept much and still felt as tired as I did when I laid down, but it was around 2:30pm and I had to finish putting all the canned and dry foods away plus do the dishes while I also started supper. I had given up on doing any makeup for the day because it’s just too much work that late in the day for me.

After supper, I did decide to at least partially dress up, so I headed off to have a shower and picked out a new top to pair with my comfy jeans. Once my shower was over I hopped into my underwear, popped my forms in and headed off to the living room to have a sit-down and finish watching some Grays Anatomy.

It’s a great thing to know that I now do not have to wait until the kid leaves to be able to dress anymore and seeing as our numbers are going up here in the city I can’t see the kid being able to go anywhere for the foreseeable future.

I don’t plan on dressing at home all the time now but it’s great that we all feel that I can and no one really has any issues with it.

So where does it go from here?

From what I can tell our kid seems pretty open to the fact that their Dad likes to wear dresses at times and seems somewhat interested in the knowledge that I may have that can help them with their own interests like cosplaying.

Thanks for reading.

Clipart from the blog banner from AnnaliseArt from Pixabay.

2 thoughts on “More Small Steps.

  1. I disagree. Not a small step at all Cynthiana. Rather, a giant leap. Coming out to your child, having them accept that Dad is not like most dads and being OK with that, being there with your family during these continuingly difficult times.
    Not a small step at all.
    Hope that you all stay safe and accepting.

    1. Thanks, Geraldine.

      I had always thought I would never dress in front of them but I guess times have changed. I really think this will be something we can both learn from.


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