The Venomous sting of Transphoibia

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As I have stated before,  I spent the majority of my childhood living in fear that someone would find out about my Crossdressing.   From all that I had seen and heard, people like me could not have a regular life and were destined to be alone.  There was no internet and no way to connect with others like myself.  It was not until I met my wife that I felt comfortable enough with another person that I expose this side of me.

Fast forward years later and I am now dealing with the other side of the coin to a degree.  My Child recently came out as Genderqueer which really does prove the adage that the apple does not fall far from the tree.  It’s been a learning curve even for me at times making sure I use the name they prefer and using the correct pronouns of “them” and “they”.

 

We were a little worried about telling friends and family,  But for the most part, they have been positive, except one.  I am not going to name which family member this is but it is a close one.  When we first started telling people this person said they were totally okay with the idea and had no problems accepting them.  It was revealed later that they would not use the Child’s preferred name and thought it was stupid to use “them” and “they” as pronouns.  Some other hurtful things were thrown around like how we were hurting the Child in the long run and would cause issues down the road.  This is totally disrespectful to the child and as far as I am concerned way more destructive than us letting them be who they are.

I expected our child to be upset about this but she went beyond sad and straight to rage.  She decided that this person was one they would not waste any time with then if they would not accept them for who they are.  Needless to say,  they have not spent any time with this person for quite awhile now and other than a polite hello says nothing to them at all.

We did not take our child coming out lightly,  we made multiple appointments with Doctors and therapists and made sure we were doing everything we should be at this point.  We were assured that we were doing everything right and could not be doing anymore.  As far as hurting the Child I can tell you this much,  Now that they are out they have flourished more than floundered.  It’s amazing to see how far they have come just in the last few months.  We are so proud that they felt safe enough with us that it was no problem to tell us.  I don’t understand people that disown their children because of gender or sexuality.  As a parent, it’s your duty to raise your Child not decide who they are.

We will be having more appointments soon and are slowly deciding on which direction they would like to take at this time.  I will keep you all posted on what happens.

Thanks for reading my vent

Cynthia

Cynthia’s Lingerie Drawer: Ashley Graham Midnight Bodysuit with Geometric Lace by Addition Elle

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So here I am again post something from Addition Elle. You may ask yourself why does Cynthia post so much stuff from this same place, well because they are Canadian owned, have a brick and mortar store in my area and have an unofficial open door policy regarding trans people.  Makes for a great combination for me and a place I will surely spend my money.

I have lusted over this piece for about 5 months or so now, just ask my wife because I am sure she was tired of me showing this to her every time it went on sale.  I have never owned a body suit before and I really wanted this one.

The Ashley Graham collection DSC04129from Addition Elle is always a little sexier and provocative than the regular Deesse collection and always has something in the collection I love. I must say though the AG collection is priced well higher than the standard. A standard Deesse bra will run you $55.00 to $62.00 and panties will cost about $25.00. Ashley Graham bra will cost you $65.00 to $70.00 and the panties are $30.00. As far as I can tell all Addition Elle bras and panties are made with the same quality but you are paying for the AG name.  The regular price of this was $95.00 CDN but I picked it up on sale for $25.00.

The website list the Bodysuit as

“Unleash your inner vixen in this extravagant plus size bodysuit from the Ashley Graham collection with plunging neckline, choker clips, and peekaboo keyhole for the ultimate mix of glamour, sensuality and temptation. Features shaping mesh panels, sexy removable garters and graphic lace for a finished effect that is sexy and captivating.”

I was drawn to this piece both by the color and the fact that it has garter straps on it, I love the look of garter straps. So after watching it on the website and it went on sale again I decided it was time to get it and I would call it an early Birthday present to myself.

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The overall construction of this piece is not unlike a bra,

the cups are underwired and there is a triple hook clasp in the back for added support. The crotch area is set up with 3 small buttonlike closures to be able to open and close. All the extra parts like the choker and garter straps are detachable via small silver hooks.

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Another option this Bodysuit has is the small hook on the left shoulder strap allowing it to be converted into a racerback style as well.

 

I was a little hesitant to purchase this because the only size the store had left was 3X and 4X. I knew 4 was too big and looking at the sizing chart 3 would be fine on the top but I was not sure about the bottom as I normally wear a 16 or just X.

This would have been a great article to try on first before purchasing, seems the 3X fits perfect on the top but the area around the legs seems to have some extra fabric left over.  I would love to have tried on a 2X to see what the difference in sizing would be. It’s not a deal breaker for me as the length seems just about perfect.  I have lots of room so it does not look like it’s hanging off me but it’s also somewhat taught like it’s supposed to look.

It feels comfortable to wear and my only real complaint is the back garter straps are a little hard to do up and could have been made to get a little longer for ease of use.  But as far as my first foray into bodysuits I think this one is a definite win.

 

 

When I was younger I suffered from Crossdressing.

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I originally made this as my background for my Twitter account @Cynthia_0102 and decided I should make another one and post it up here.

It pretty much in not so many words sums up how I feel about the places I have come to with my Crossdressing.  Granted I may not embrace it to the point where I feel as if I can go out but I have at least come to a peace with it within myself to where I can just be me.

Cynthia

Hello 2017

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I had planned on putting this posting out on Monday the 2nd of January,  as you can see I got a little behind.  Well better late than never.

Well, we made it,  Yet another trip around the sun and here were are fresh and new in 2017.  I hope all my Readers and Friends had a great New Years Eve.  Mine was slow paced and I didn’t even make it to midnight but that’s okay it was still fun enough.  I was able to dress and just hang around the house with some movies and snacks and have a laid back easy night.

I did take some pictures and tweeted them through the night but I figured I would post them all here as well for my first blog post of 2017.

So I had planned to start getting ready Friday night after work (Shower and shave legs) but that did not pan out at all,  after spending the day outside in the cold I was exhausted.  Normally I can make it from 4 to 10 pm but Friday night I had to take a nap from 5 to 7 just to be able to get back on my feet.  After waking up I was still somewhat tired so decided against doing anything more than painting my toenails and pulling all my stuff out of storage.

dsc03774After finding all my boxes I was at least partially ready to get things going for Saturday night.

The box on the Very top is all my makeup and the one below that is all Lingerie.  The box on the right of that is stockings, pantyhose and where I keep my forms.  The big green box is all clothes plus there were about 2 more bags from summer sales that I still have not had time to put away in the box.  I should really clean that box out because I know there is some at the bottom that I never wear anymore.   It would be great if there was enough closet space to hang all this up but alas there is not.

The box on the floor at left is nail polish and on the right is more stuff like deodorant, facial cleansers and moisturizer.

Saturday morning I was slow getting going and was out of bed at around 7 am.  Coffee was a must and after about 4 or so cups I was ready to go.  I decided I needed a nice new set of nails for the night so I set about making up a set.  I decided to do something other than the squared oval that I have been doing.

I have searched before online to try and find dsc03783some type of guide to nail shaping but is seems most times they are done the nails are already attached to the person before they are cut and filed into the profile wanted.  It was easier said than done but I was able to measure the length I wanted and then use a circle template to roughly mark out the rounded shape I wanted.  I then cut the excess off and finished off with some custom nail files I had made that have more grit for taking off material faster.  I was pretty happy with how the shaping turned out and decided to go with a color that up until that point I had not used called Glistening Plum that I used on my toes Friday night.  dsc03805

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I was really happy with how these turned out and extremely happy with this color.  If the lights hit these just the right way they almost look metallic like in the top photo.

So after finishing the nails and getting a little bit ofdsc03799 cleaning and some laundry done it was close to about 2 in the afternoon so it was off to the shower with some of my favorite stuff to really start to get ready.  I love to take my time when having a shower,  there is nothing worse than being rushed and missing a ton of hairs on your leg.  I have been using the Gillette Venus Swirl razor for over a year now and out of all that I have tried I really like it the best.  My only complaint here is with the Shave Gel,  I can’t say I am really crazy about the smell but overall is decent to use.  The original type I used does not seem to be made anymore,  I am a little sad over that.

After taking my time in the shower it was still only about a quarter after 3 and I was so excited for the new nails that I just had to get them on right away,  this was a bad idea.

The nails take me anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes to apply.  Getting all the adhesive strips on then removing the second part and then finally applying the nail all takes time and patience as to not screw things up.  As I was sitting there admiring my new beautiful nails I realized I was not dressed yet or had my make up on.  I was not about to take them off because even though I have lots of the adhesive strips they no longer sell them at the beauty store so what I have left has to last me.  This was going to be a real challenge.

Now I sometimes have a hard time doing my bra strap up as it is because I prefer to do it up from the back which I hear is less wear and tear on the garment than doing it up from the front and then spinning it around.  I had to fiddle with it but was pretty happy with myself after finishing the last of the 4 clasps.  Now came the pantyhose.  I have a hard time with pantyhose on the best of days,  my hands are so rough that even my skin can snag on them and make it almost impossible to get on let alone with new long nails that I am still getting used to wearing.  After some fidgeting, swear words and some close calls I was now again one step closer.

Now makeup……..This again was going to be a little bit of a task seeing as now I was having a hard time opening up my compacts and cases to get the products I needed to use.  Foundation was easy but the eye shadow cases seemed to be a bit of an issue but I perceived and even though it was not one of my best jobs the face was done.

dsc03812_editedFor my first outfit, I decided to go with a short sleeve lace dress I had picked up from Penningtons in late December before Christmas.  It seemed like a festive little number.  I paired the dress with a black cover-up that my wife had recently given
me and I thought it finished the look off pretty welldsc03811_edited

 

Of course, you can’t stick with just one outfit all night,  so it was time to change.

 

 

 

My second pick for the night was a lace pencil skirt from Penningtons and a lace 2 piece top from Addition Elle.  Looking back at the pictures now I am thinking it was maybe a little too much lace but it was fun to wear for the rest of the night.

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When 10 pm rolled around I was dead on my feet so I packed it in for the night and headed to bed.  On Sunday I still had some time to kill do I decided to paint my natural nails which is something I don’t get very much chance to do.  When it was all said and done they did not meet my expectations and the pictures I tried to take did not turn out at all so needless to say I was not really happy,  but it was practice.

So that was my New Years Weekend,  nothing too exciting but it was fun for me.

What did you do?

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

Cynthia’s 2016 in Review

 

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Another year is almost at a close and this year has brought some new things for Myself.  Just thought before the year was over I would review some of these things.

Telling the Kid

I had posted it before here about my child telling us that they identify as non-binary or gender fluid.  We do not use She or He but instead use Them and They.  We have joined a local group for parents of Transgender Children which is kinda weird going to because of my own Crossdressing.

The wife and I decided that we should tell the Child because it may help her knowing that she was not the only one in her family who at one point had similar issues.  It seemed to go okay with he just saying that’s cool.  I did get some questions like do you own dresses, do you have bra’s and so on and so forth.

We got them a appointment with a counselor about the gender stuff and other issues she was.  We made it clear to her she was able to talk about anything she wanted and it came to light that she had wished we had never told her.  This is a evolving situation and for the most part I have backed off saying anything about.  The one good thing that came from the situation though is now I don’t have to hide my painted toe nails anymore.

I had a huge blog post planned for this but seeing as the situation is still ongoing I will wait and then give you the full story.

Buying Stuff

It was a few years ago now that I finally was able to shop for stuff by myself.  I started by picking up small stuff at the drug store, Razors, Panty hose and the likes and then finally moved up to clothes.  My first trip to Addition Elle by myself I am sure I was 10 shades of red more than normal.  With my list in hand and my cover story of it was for my wife I picked up my first few items.  I was floating higher than a kite after that trip and that fully opened the door.

Now I have no issues walking into either Addition Elle of Penningtons (My 2 favorite stores) and just grabbing whatever I want and heading to the cash.  In my opinion the best invention for a Crossdresser shopping has been the cell phone.  I am able to open the web page and just ask the sales associate if this is in stock,  makes the purchase way easier.

But up to this point I have still not ventured to purchase my current enemy,  MAKE UP.  That was until about 3 months ago.  I am still having a ongoing battle with finding the right shade of foundation to use and to this point I still am.  While scanning the local drug store chain flyer I found the product I wanted was on sale but only for 2 days this being day one.  So next day off to the drug store which at the time was pretty busy and made me a bit nervous but I went on.  I had to make sure the aisle was clear before I entered and made my way down to the Foundations.  Just like every time I go to buy make up the shelves look like a tornado had hit and nothing was where it was supposed to be and I had to search almost every bottle to find the color I was looking for.  I found them and headed picked up a couple other small things and headed for the cash.  The line was not long and I ended up at the cashier pretty quickly.  I put my stuff on the counter and put the foundation out last,  as she grabbed each item and scanned them through.  I was sure I would get a second look as she rang through the foundation but her head never looked up from her task as she placed the foundations in the bag and I was met with no odd looks just the obligatory “Will that be cash or credit”.

Another mission  crossed off the list and since then I have been back and bought more without still finding the right color.  Seems I am doomed to look patchy and off color forever.

I am still not comfortable with letting most people know about this side of me but I am to the point where I am not going to let the fear I felt for so long stop me from doing what I want to anymore.

Overall and 2017

Other than all the other things that went on in the world 2016 was not a bad year for me.  My little space here on the internet turned 3 years old and I am still amazed myself that I have kept it up this long.

I still have a ton of stuff I can do for Cynthia’s Lingerie Drawer it’s just a matter of having time to sit down and write them.

And to all my readers have a safe and Happy New Years and here’s to seeing and reading all your blogs in the future.

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

 

Cynthia’s Blog: 3 Years later

 

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I very rarely have thing’s that I do  last very long.  Chalk it up to the ADD my wife swears I have or just the fact that I always have to be doing something new.  But today the notification popped up that I have been on WordPress blogging for 3 years now and it’s hard to believe I have kept up with it for this long.

To date I have 55 followers,  Over 2500 views and 70 published posts.  I even amazed myself that I was able to come up with that many posts over the years.  Writing is not really a easy task for me to complete as I have always had a issues of getting my thoughts from my head to paper (Or keyboard) and have it make sense.  Sometimes one post will take me months to complete and have it seem to make sense to people other than me.  Someone once told me just to write and post and not worry about editing otherwise it will never be what you wanted.  I have tried that method and still find myself taking forever to post.

One of the reasons I started my blog was because of the lack of information I was able to dig up in my younger days.   Had I been able to browse the internet when I was starting this journey I may have not felt so alone.  One hope I had for this blog was to let people know they are not alone and that there is always a bright lining to every grey cloud.

So after 70 posts what are some of my favorites?

That’s just a few that I think were some of my better works on here.

So here is to three years so far and hopefully more.

Thanks all for reading and following

Cynthia

Cynthia’s Lingerie Drawer: Ashley Graham Dreamer Fatal Attraction Unlined Bra and Thong with Lace

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This was a purchase from the Summer of 2016.  In one of my deal hunting adventures I was able to snag this Bra and Panty set again from my favorite place to shop for lingerie Addition Elle.  I must apologize for the picture quality of the bra as it did not seem to photograph too well.dsc03428

The Web site description reads as “Enjoy this unlined Ashley Graham bra with natural shaping that doesn’t add a size. The Fatal Attraction plus size bra combines unlined lace and mesh in a two layer cup with contrast trim, while creating the perfect fit with a sexy peek a boo effect. Double straps suggest a naughty bondage look. Opt for a halter neckline to mix things up. The triple strip at back wing (hook & eye) creates a modern caged look. A perfect match for the Retro Brief, this sizzling bra with pearl, sparkle and bow detail is a sophisticated item for the bride to be’s collection

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One of my favorite things about this Bra is that it is unlined so it works well for under dressing as it does not tend to show through and sits flat on my chest unlike lined or lightly padded bra’s do.  I was a fan of the adjustable straps when I first say the bra on the website.  You can remove them and re-position them in a criss-cross orientation but for the life of me I could not figure out how to get it on in this set up,  would almost take 2 people to get it like that.

The other half to this set was the Retro Brief Panty that I thought I had grabbed but getting home I realized I had picked up the Lace Thong Panty and was a little set back by this development.  I had never worn a thong before and was a little apprehensive about even trying them on.  I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable they actually were and how after a few minutes I did not even realize I had a thong on.  Web site description is “A little lace centerpiece accents this lightweight mesh thong that’s set to stun—even more so with its caged back

Even though I can’t put the bra into alternate strap configuration and I bought the Thong instead of the Brief I still really like the look and feel of this set.

Thanks for Reading

Cynthia