The Venomous sting of Transphoibia

venomous_sting

As I have stated before,  I spent the majority of my childhood living in fear that someone would find out about my Crossdressing.   From all that I had seen and heard, people like me could not have a regular life and were destined to be alone.  There was no internet and no way to connect with others like myself.  It was not until I met my wife that I felt comfortable enough with another person that I expose this side of me.

Fast forward years later and I am now dealing with the other side of the coin to a degree.  My Child recently came out as Genderqueer which really does prove the adage that the apple does not fall far from the tree.  It’s been a learning curve even for me at times making sure I use the name they prefer and using the correct pronouns of “them” and “they”.

 

We were a little worried about telling friends and family,  But for the most part, they have been positive, except one.  I am not going to name which family member this is but it is a close one.  When we first started telling people this person said they were totally okay with the idea and had no problems accepting them.  It was revealed later that they would not use the Child’s preferred name and thought it was stupid to use “them” and “they” as pronouns.  Some other hurtful things were thrown around like how we were hurting the Child in the long run and would cause issues down the road.  This is totally disrespectful to the child and as far as I am concerned way more destructive than us letting them be who they are.

I expected our child to be upset about this but she went beyond sad and straight to rage.  She decided that this person was one they would not waste any time with then if they would not accept them for who they are.  Needless to say,  they have not spent any time with this person for quite awhile now and other than a polite hello says nothing to them at all.

We did not take our child coming out lightly,  we made multiple appointments with Doctors and therapists and made sure we were doing everything we should be at this point.  We were assured that we were doing everything right and could not be doing anymore.  As far as hurting the Child I can tell you this much,  Now that they are out they have flourished more than floundered.  It’s amazing to see how far they have come just in the last few months.  We are so proud that they felt safe enough with us that it was no problem to tell us.  I don’t understand people that disown their children because of gender or sexuality.  As a parent, it’s your duty to raise your Child not decide who they are.

We will be having more appointments soon and are slowly deciding on which direction they would like to take at this time.  I will keep you all posted on what happens.

Thanks for reading my vent

Cynthia

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Lots of change

So recently it was confirmed that our child considers herself as Gender Fluid.  She had been talking to her mother for a couple of years now about how she feels but it was not until recently that her mother was able to put a phrase to how she feels.

I was more than pleased to know that they were able to come to us with this information.  We have let her know since a small child that no matter what we would always love her no matter what.  I know what it’s like to have to hold onto a secret like this without being able to tell anyone.  I spent 13 years holding onto this and could tell no one.

We have signed up and  will be attending a workshop for parents of kids and youth who are identifying as transgender or gender diverse and hopefully get some more info to make sure we are doing everything we need to at this point.

After all of this had come out the wife brought up Cynthia to her therapist which for the past 20 some years she has always skirted over.  Her therapist asked how I had dealt with my stuff over the years and even suggested maybe about telling our child about me.  We have talked about it a little and have decided that right now in the thick of all of this and with some other things going on that now is not the best time to tell her.

So when will be a good time to tell her?  at this point I really don’t know.  We have been throwing out some hints and doing some joking around but there is no immediate date set in stone when we will site her down and have the talk.

Do you have children and do they know about your dressing?  Let me know how you would feel about your child knowing about your dressing.

Thanks for reading

Cynthia