Hello 2018

hello_2018So here we are in 2018 and I am a way behind in posting seeing as my last full post was in September of 2017.  So what has been going on since that post?

Read on to find out.

A Bittersweet Blog-A-Versery

I got the notification near the end of November that my blog had turned 4 years old.  I was pretty excited as I don’t normally keep things going this long,  so 4 years worth of blogging was a pretty big thing for me.

I decided to write-up a post and grabbed the USB Flash drive I keep all my pictures and various files on.  When plugging it into my laptop I was greeted with a weird error on the laptop which I had never seen before.  As far as I could tell there is no easy way to do a disk repair on Ubuntu Linux so I popped it into my trusty Windows Vista machine.

To my surprise the drive was recognized but in a RAW format and not readable by Windows.  Hours spent researching and at least 5 data recovery software programs yielded no results.  As far as I can tell my pictures, data and anything I had written that I may have used in a future blog post are now gone.

I know I should have backed up the data on the drive but I was always nervous of having pictures on one drive let alone many.  I have learned my lesson and now just saving things on my very secure lockable laptop.  I will be looking into a cloud-based service as well.

The Family

The summer and fall of 2017 were a particularly busy for us as a family.  I have noted before that our child identifies as a gender fluid,  They prefer a more androgynous look and have pretty much purged all of their clothes that would point to a feminine appearance.  Even though at times they will don a skirt or dress for the most part it’s jeans and shirts from the men’s aisle.

You would think that as a Crossdresser this would be a easy task for me to raise a child that is gender non conforming……WRONG.  I try,  I really,  really try but even I get it wrong sometimes.  I am better than I was but I still use the wrong pro-nouns at times but usually know I am getting it wrong as it’s leaving my mouth.  It always sounds like I am repeating my self a lot of times like “Is She going to school,  Are THEY going to school”

The kid was able to take part in a camp this summer for LGBTQ kids.  They had a great time and at the last day there was a gathering for the Family’s.  It was to explain what the kids had done for the week and to tell us how as parents we were doing the right things for our kids.  That was never in question for me,  I don’t care what my kid is as long as they are happy.

We were able to get the Kid into the CHEO (Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario) Gender clinic.  This is in Ottawa which is not a really far drive from our city but when you have no idea where you are driving and hate big cities it makes for an all day trip.   What should have taken us a little over an hour and 45 minutes took well over 3 hours.  luckily the appointment was a little after 1 in the afternoon and we had left at 9 am.   We have made 2 trips up so far but we are also trying to get into a new local gender clinic because it’s such a hassle to drive all that distance for a appointment that at the longest has been maybe 25 minutes.

We are still active with a local Transgender family group.  We try to meet up every 2nd Monday but lately with holidays and weather we have only met up once since early December.  We have had guest speakers and special event nights but mostly we just meet up and chat.  It’s nice to have other families that are going through the same things who can give you the support that you may need sometimes.

Odds and Ends

Since September I have been trying to de-clutter some of my make up stash.  I have been getting rid of products that are past the expiry, wrong colour or stuff that I just don’t use.  And once I have have made room I picked up some more.

I always wait till products are on sale because I feel bad for paying full price for a product I may only get to use a few times a year.  I was able to get some stuff from Revlon, Covergirl and E.L.F. between September and the end of December of last year.

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Revlon Super Lusterous Lipstick.

I also started picking up more beauty tools like foundation and blending sponges as well as finally getting some decent brushes.  I follow a lot of beauty bloggers on Twitter, so I decided to take the advice of some and pick up some products by E.L.F Cosmetics.  I will be working on a more detailed post with what’s in my make up bag that I am hoping to be posting soon.

 

I think some of the coolest purchases in late 2017 were the E.L.F. Holiday kits which I was able to pick up at either 30% or 60% off after Christmas.

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E.L.F. Cosmetics Holiday Kits.

Between the wife and I we picked up 7 kits.

 

I am still debating taking a trip to the local M.A.C. store and get some help getting foundation.  I know some stand alone M.A.C.’s have private rooms but our local one is not a store front.  It’s located within another store called Hudson’s Bay which is a higher end store here in Canada.  I asked around and was finally able to take a peak at the store itself and it appears it does not have a private room as it’s not much bigger than a normal cosmetics counter area.  Like I have stated many times before in posts,  this is not a huge town and it’s more common than not to meet friends or family when walking around the mall.  Trying to have my foundation done may leave me open to have someone I know seeing me,  Not a situation I really want to try to explain.  My options at this point are pretty limited,  do I drive over 2 hours away to another store near Toronto or Ottawa,  Or do I try to maybe make a appointment first thing in the morning maybe on a Sunday when the mall will be mostly empty?

I still have not contacted the store itself to see what they can do for me if anything at all.

At the start of November I was able to pick up a wig from the local Spirit Halloween store that now had all there products on for 60% off.  Now keep in mind this is not a expensive wig to start off with,  but in pictures it does at the something that was missing.  I can now take pictures with the top of my head in them instead of cutting of at the shoulders.  Still not doing any head on face shots yet though,  I tried a couple and my foundation showed so bad in the light it was terrible looking.

So there is my first post of 2018,  and hopefully this is just the beginning of posting a little more this year.  I already have 2 other posts I have been working on and I am hoping to have them out in the next little while.

Thanks for Reading

cyn_sig2

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The Venomous sting of Transphoibia

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As I have stated before,  I spent the majority of my childhood living in fear that someone would find out about my Crossdressing.   From all that I had seen and heard, people like me could not have a regular life and were destined to be alone.  There was no internet and no way to connect with others like myself.  It was not until I met my wife that I felt comfortable enough with another person that I expose this side of me.

Fast forward years later and I am now dealing with the other side of the coin to a degree.  My Child recently came out as Genderqueer which really does prove the adage that the apple does not fall far from the tree.  It’s been a learning curve even for me at times making sure I use the name they prefer and using the correct pronouns of “them” and “they”.

 

We were a little worried about telling friends and family,  But for the most part, they have been positive, except one.  I am not going to name which family member this is but it is a close one.  When we first started telling people this person said they were totally okay with the idea and had no problems accepting them.  It was revealed later that they would not use the Child’s preferred name and thought it was stupid to use “them” and “they” as pronouns.  Some other hurtful things were thrown around like how we were hurting the Child in the long run and would cause issues down the road.  This is totally disrespectful to the child and as far as I am concerned way more destructive than us letting them be who they are.

I expected our child to be upset about this but she went beyond sad and straight to rage.  She decided that this person was one they would not waste any time with then if they would not accept them for who they are.  Needless to say,  they have not spent any time with this person for quite awhile now and other than a polite hello says nothing to them at all.

We did not take our child coming out lightly,  we made multiple appointments with Doctors and therapists and made sure we were doing everything we should be at this point.  We were assured that we were doing everything right and could not be doing anymore.  As far as hurting the Child I can tell you this much,  Now that they are out they have flourished more than floundered.  It’s amazing to see how far they have come just in the last few months.  We are so proud that they felt safe enough with us that it was no problem to tell us.  I don’t understand people that disown their children because of gender or sexuality.  As a parent, it’s your duty to raise your Child not decide who they are.

We will be having more appointments soon and are slowly deciding on which direction they would like to take at this time.  I will keep you all posted on what happens.

Thanks for reading my vent

Cynthia