Hello 2017

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I had planned on putting this posting out on Monday the 2nd of January,  as you can see I got a little behind.  Well better late than never.

Well, we made it,  Yet another trip around the sun and here were are fresh and new in 2017.  I hope all my Readers and Friends had a great New Years Eve.  Mine was slow paced and I didn’t even make it to midnight but that’s okay it was still fun enough.  I was able to dress and just hang around the house with some movies and snacks and have a laid back easy night.

I did take some pictures and tweeted them through the night but I figured I would post them all here as well for my first blog post of 2017.

So I had planned to start getting ready Friday night after work (Shower and shave legs) but that did not pan out at all,  after spending the day outside in the cold I was exhausted.  Normally I can make it from 4 to 10 pm but Friday night I had to take a nap from 5 to 7 just to be able to get back on my feet.  After waking up I was still somewhat tired so decided against doing anything more than painting my toenails and pulling all my stuff out of storage.

dsc03774After finding all my boxes I was at least partially ready to get things going for Saturday night.

The box on the Very top is all my makeup and the one below that is all Lingerie.  The box on the right of that is stockings, pantyhose and where I keep my forms.  The big green box is all clothes plus there were about 2 more bags from summer sales that I still have not had time to put away in the box.  I should really clean that box out because I know there is some at the bottom that I never wear anymore.   It would be great if there was enough closet space to hang all this up but alas there is not.

The box on the floor at left is nail polish and on the right is more stuff like deodorant, facial cleansers and moisturizer.

Saturday morning I was slow getting going and was out of bed at around 7 am.  Coffee was a must and after about 4 or so cups I was ready to go.  I decided I needed a nice new set of nails for the night so I set about making up a set.  I decided to do something other than the squared oval that I have been doing.

I have searched before online to try and find dsc03783some type of guide to nail shaping but is seems most times they are done the nails are already attached to the person before they are cut and filed into the profile wanted.  It was easier said than done but I was able to measure the length I wanted and then use a circle template to roughly mark out the rounded shape I wanted.  I then cut the excess off and finished off with some custom nail files I had made that have more grit for taking off material faster.  I was pretty happy with how the shaping turned out and decided to go with a color that up until that point I had not used called Glistening Plum that I used on my toes Friday night.  dsc03805

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I was really happy with how these turned out and extremely happy with this color.  If the lights hit these just the right way they almost look metallic like in the top photo.

So after finishing the nails and getting a little bit ofdsc03799 cleaning and some laundry done it was close to about 2 in the afternoon so it was off to the shower with some of my favorite stuff to really start to get ready.  I love to take my time when having a shower,  there is nothing worse than being rushed and missing a ton of hairs on your leg.  I have been using the Gillette Venus Swirl razor for over a year now and out of all that I have tried I really like it the best.  My only complaint here is with the Shave Gel,  I can’t say I am really crazy about the smell but overall is decent to use.  The original type I used does not seem to be made anymore,  I am a little sad over that.

After taking my time in the shower it was still only about a quarter after 3 and I was so excited for the new nails that I just had to get them on right away,  this was a bad idea.

The nails take me anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes to apply.  Getting all the adhesive strips on then removing the second part and then finally applying the nail all takes time and patience as to not screw things up.  As I was sitting there admiring my new beautiful nails I realized I was not dressed yet or had my make up on.  I was not about to take them off because even though I have lots of the adhesive strips they no longer sell them at the beauty store so what I have left has to last me.  This was going to be a real challenge.

Now I sometimes have a hard time doing my bra strap up as it is because I prefer to do it up from the back which I hear is less wear and tear on the garment than doing it up from the front and then spinning it around.  I had to fiddle with it but was pretty happy with myself after finishing the last of the 4 clasps.  Now came the pantyhose.  I have a hard time with pantyhose on the best of days,  my hands are so rough that even my skin can snag on them and make it almost impossible to get on let alone with new long nails that I am still getting used to wearing.  After some fidgeting, swear words and some close calls I was now again one step closer.

Now makeup……..This again was going to be a little bit of a task seeing as now I was having a hard time opening up my compacts and cases to get the products I needed to use.  Foundation was easy but the eye shadow cases seemed to be a bit of an issue but I perceived and even though it was not one of my best jobs the face was done.

dsc03812_editedFor my first outfit, I decided to go with a short sleeve lace dress I had picked up from Penningtons in late December before Christmas.  It seemed like a festive little number.  I paired the dress with a black cover-up that my wife had recently given
me and I thought it finished the look off pretty welldsc03811_edited

 

Of course, you can’t stick with just one outfit all night,  so it was time to change.

 

 

 

My second pick for the night was a lace pencil skirt from Penningtons and a lace 2 piece top from Addition Elle.  Looking back at the pictures now I am thinking it was maybe a little too much lace but it was fun to wear for the rest of the night.

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When 10 pm rolled around I was dead on my feet so I packed it in for the night and headed to bed.  On Sunday I still had some time to kill do I decided to paint my natural nails which is something I don’t get very much chance to do.  When it was all said and done they did not meet my expectations and the pictures I tried to take did not turn out at all so needless to say I was not really happy,  but it was practice.

So that was my New Years Weekend,  nothing too exciting but it was fun for me.

What did you do?

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

Cynthia’s 2016 in Review

 

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Another year is almost at a close and this year has brought some new things for Myself.  Just thought before the year was over I would review some of these things.

Telling the Kid

I had posted it before here about my child telling us that they identify as non-binary or gender fluid.  We do not use She or He but instead use Them and They.  We have joined a local group for parents of Transgender Children which is kinda weird going to because of my own Crossdressing.

The wife and I decided that we should tell the Child because it may help her knowing that she was not the only one in her family who at one point had similar issues.  It seemed to go okay with he just saying that’s cool.  I did get some questions like do you own dresses, do you have bra’s and so on and so forth.

We got them a appointment with a counselor about the gender stuff and other issues she was.  We made it clear to her she was able to talk about anything she wanted and it came to light that she had wished we had never told her.  This is a evolving situation and for the most part I have backed off saying anything about.  The one good thing that came from the situation though is now I don’t have to hide my painted toe nails anymore.

I had a huge blog post planned for this but seeing as the situation is still ongoing I will wait and then give you the full story.

Buying Stuff

It was a few years ago now that I finally was able to shop for stuff by myself.  I started by picking up small stuff at the drug store, Razors, Panty hose and the likes and then finally moved up to clothes.  My first trip to Addition Elle by myself I am sure I was 10 shades of red more than normal.  With my list in hand and my cover story of it was for my wife I picked up my first few items.  I was floating higher than a kite after that trip and that fully opened the door.

Now I have no issues walking into either Addition Elle of Penningtons (My 2 favorite stores) and just grabbing whatever I want and heading to the cash.  In my opinion the best invention for a Crossdresser shopping has been the cell phone.  I am able to open the web page and just ask the sales associate if this is in stock,  makes the purchase way easier.

But up to this point I have still not ventured to purchase my current enemy,  MAKE UP.  That was until about 3 months ago.  I am still having a ongoing battle with finding the right shade of foundation to use and to this point I still am.  While scanning the local drug store chain flyer I found the product I wanted was on sale but only for 2 days this being day one.  So next day off to the drug store which at the time was pretty busy and made me a bit nervous but I went on.  I had to make sure the aisle was clear before I entered and made my way down to the Foundations.  Just like every time I go to buy make up the shelves look like a tornado had hit and nothing was where it was supposed to be and I had to search almost every bottle to find the color I was looking for.  I found them and headed picked up a couple other small things and headed for the cash.  The line was not long and I ended up at the cashier pretty quickly.  I put my stuff on the counter and put the foundation out last,  as she grabbed each item and scanned them through.  I was sure I would get a second look as she rang through the foundation but her head never looked up from her task as she placed the foundations in the bag and I was met with no odd looks just the obligatory “Will that be cash or credit”.

Another mission  crossed off the list and since then I have been back and bought more without still finding the right color.  Seems I am doomed to look patchy and off color forever.

I am still not comfortable with letting most people know about this side of me but I am to the point where I am not going to let the fear I felt for so long stop me from doing what I want to anymore.

Overall and 2017

Other than all the other things that went on in the world 2016 was not a bad year for me.  My little space here on the internet turned 3 years old and I am still amazed myself that I have kept it up this long.

I still have a ton of stuff I can do for Cynthia’s Lingerie Drawer it’s just a matter of having time to sit down and write them.

And to all my readers have a safe and Happy New Years and here’s to seeing and reading all your blogs in the future.

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

 

Cynthia’s Holiday Wish List 2016

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We again are very close to the Holiday season and with that in mind I decided to go ahead and do a wish list for some stuff that I would love to find under the Christmas tree.

Penningtons Lace Pencil Skirt is just gorgeous in my opinion.  It has everything I love all wrapped up into one.  I love lace designs and with the black background.

 

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It reminds me of a Lingerie set I reviewed back awhile ago in  Cynthia’s Lingerie Drawer.  They would pair very well together in my opinion.

And of course to finish off the new skirt there has to be a new top to go along with it.  I could not decide between the two Addition Elle tops in either black or white.

I would lean more towards he white one myself but I think the black could be paired nicely.

 

Can’t have a new Holiday Outfit without a new pair of shoes.  Torrid has recently opened up a store not too far away from where I live.  Searching around their website I found this little number that should pair well with the skirt (I think).

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And what is a new Holiday outfit without  some Holiday themed lingerie.  Although not mentioned as such in the Addition Elle website you have to admit with the festive red and black lace these to have a Holiday feel to them.

2016 was a year I was at times able to dress a little more than I normally could because the Child was away at some camps and staying over at friends houses so I was able to practice my make up more than I ever have before.  Awhile back I picked up a ECOTOOLS Day to Night 6 piece brush set and was amazed and what a decent set of tools can to to help.  Although the set looks different now it can be seen here.  I think my next logical step would be to pick up the Essential Eye Set to try and work on my shadow skills.  I really must say I was very pleased with the quality of these brushes.

And last but not least I would love to get a gift card for either MAC or Sephora.  It would be really nice if I could actually work up the courage to go into one of these places and get myself some real matching foundation.

So that’s my 2016 Holiday wish list.  Love it hate it?  leave me a comment and tell me what’s on your list.

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

 

 

100 Questions someone might ask a Crossdresser: Part 2

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And finally now for part 2.  Like I said back in part one questions 66 to 85 were compiled by a co-worker and she has a no nonsense kind of attitude so her questions  were left just as she sent them too me.  I even bugged Katieinthehall  for some question and she obliged with 94 to 98.

If you enjoy this and want to do it yourself please send me a email to cynthia01012 at gmail.com and I can send you a copy of a blank list.  You just  have to put a link back to mine and give the appropriate credit.

51. Favorite place to shop for Make up?  Shoppers Drug Mart. I try to go when they have decent sales on.
52. Favorite place to shop for clothes? Addition Elle.
53. Favorite place to shop for Lingerie?  Addition Elle.
54. Best time you can think of spent dressed up?  Last year spent the night dressed with the Wife while watching Mrs Browns Boys.
55. If you could have the ultimate day out where would you go? Manicure, Make over and shopping.
56. Funniest thing that’s ever happened to you while Crossdressing? While trying to put on a garter belt I ended up giving myself a Charlie horse in my arm.
57. Do you have pierced ears or wear clip ons? I only have one pierced ear but hopefully some day will get the other done.  I don’t have any other jewellery just yet so it’s ok.
58. Do you wear heels? Yes.
59. How long did it take you to learn how to walk in heels?  Probably a week’s worth of walking in them and falling over every night.
60. How many pairs of heels do you own? 1.
61. Name a article of Women’s clothing you can’t live without? Seeing as I can’t fully dress up regularly I would have to say my underwear.
62. What is one article of Women’s clothes you don’t like? Rompers.
63. Do you sleep in a nightie? Only if my Daughter is away.
64. What type of panties do you like? As most people call them “Granny Panties” but with a little flash of lace and sparkle.
65. What is your Favorite color for a dress? A nice lace purple dress would be great.
66. When you’re wearing pantyhose, what do you do with your junk? Let it be free or tuck it up and tape? Seeing as I tend not to wear tight clothes and stay at home I don’t feel the need to tuck.  So if I am wearing panty hose it’s just over some panties.
67. What stops you from ‘dressing’ in public? Fear of yourself or of others? I guess it’s a fear of both.  I am not crazy about being around lots of people and especially while being in a situation where I could be outed.
68. When did you first know your taste in fashion was different from other boys? My earliest recollection would be around the 7 or possible younger.
69. When did you tell your wife? What was her reaction? We had been dating for about 5 months and I figured waiting any longer would maker it harder and a worse situation.  I could not come out and say it so I tried to spell it.  I didn’t even get past “C” and she thought I had Cancer.
70. What would you tell your 5 year old self if you could? You are going to have some tough times but hang on it gets a lot better.
71. Do you shave your chest and armpits as well as your legs? Just the legs.
72. Have you ever told anyone and they reacted badly? No.  I have been pretty lucky I guess.
73. What was your most surprising reaction when telling someone? A Co-worker.  I kinda told her by accident (even though I had thought of telling her before) and with a stone cold face she just said “so”.  She also told me later than everyone deserves to be pretty.
74. For most women, taking the bra off at the end of the day and having a good under-boob scratch is the equivalent to a man scratching his nut-sack. Is it the same when you take off your bra? Not for me.  It is such a build up to get dressed for me that taking it all off means that for a time it’s over.
75. How did you feel the first time you ‘dressed’? First time truly dressed I felt okay until I glanced in the mirror.  Shock and disgust would be the best way to describe it.
76. How did you feel the last time you ‘dressed’? Great.  No better way to relax after work than to come home slip into a nice blouse and skirt do your make up and watch some tv.
77. Do you and your wife share clothes? We have a few articles that we share.  Mostly blouses and sweaters.
78. What do you wish everyone understood about why you dress that no one seems to really get? I think most people think it’s some sort of fetish and to some people it is and that’s not a issue.  But to the majority of Crossdressers expressing our femininity is just something we feel we need to do.
79. Do you prefer skirts and dresses or pants?  Skirts and dresses mostly.  But I do have a great pair of Jeans I love with some floral embroidery on them.
80. How do you hide your 5 o’clock shadow? Not really a issue for me as I don’t go out but a good shave, some red lipstick and good foundation can work wonders I hear.
81. If you could go somewhere on the planet where not one soul knew who you were and publicly dress, would you? I would have to work my way up to it but I think I could do it.
82. Do you think you’ll ever tell your children? Still debating that.  My daughter is a pretty open thinker.  She already has a understanding of LGBTQ Community.  But I am not sure I ever want her to have to carry around a secret this big.
83. What will you tell your children (if you don’t intend to tell them) and they find out accidentally? I guess at that point Pandora will be out of the box and that Daddy at times like to express a Feminine side.
84. Why aren’t women who wear menswear considered cross-dressers? I never understood that.  I think it’s because men’s clothes is seen as more utilitarian where as Female clothes is seen with more sexuality.  
85. Where the hell do you find shoes to fit? My one and only pair I was able to pick up at a local thrift store.  I keep looking but have never seen size 12’s there again.  I have found on-line stores that do carry sizes well past 12.
86. What is the longest you have ever dressed for? Most would be for a 5 hour stretch.
87. Do your bra and panties have to match? Yes.
88. Do you find there is a big difference between your male and female self? If so how? Although I try to change my mannerisms for the most part my personality is pretty much the same.
89. Does it matter to you if you “Pass” or not? I don’t go out yes so not really.  If I did go out I would want to be as passable as I could get.
90. Do you “Pass”? No.
91.  How long does it take you to get all dressed up? From the time I come home and hop in the shower till I finish my make up and slip into the heels at least a hour and a half maybe longer.  I have never timed it.
92. If you had a chance to remove your desire to Crossdress would you take it? 7 year old me would probably take you up on that offer if only not to feel different.  Adult me knows that in the long run it gets better and I am not hurting anyone doing it so no.
93. Do you have any female role models and if so who are they? Any Woman who is brave enough to stand up and be happy with herself no matter what.
94. Do you listen to anything while getting ready? No,  I tried but then I spend more time trying to pick songs.
95. What do you hope to accomplish by Crossdressing?  For me I don’t think there is anything really to accomplish other than to accept and be happy with myself.
96. What do you expect crossdressing to teach you about being a woman and the experiences associated with it? It has really opened my eyes as to what the Women of today have to put up with.  Being bombarded 24/7 about having to look this way and wear this and how much you should weigh.  Makes you really respect what Women go through.
97. Do your personal or political views change as a result of the experiences of crossdressing? No my views are my views no matter what clothes I am wearing.
98. Has your views on relationships changed with crossdressing in your life?  I was always worried I would never really have a relationship because I was “Different”.  My wife whole heartedly accepted me so I was never really shot down because of it.
99. What was you best Crossdressing experience? Best ever would be the first time that I ever really dressed in front of my wife for a extended time.  I figured her reaction to seeing me dressed would be horrifying but her expression never changed a bit.  I don’t think I was ever more relieved in my life. Second best is when she walked in on me putting on pantyhose and gave me the raised eyebrow and backed out of the room.
100. What was your worst Crossdressing experience?  I don’t think I have had any yet.  I don’t go out so there is not much chance of anyone finding out.  Although last night the cat put a run in my pantyhose so that kinda counts.

So there you have it all 100 questions compiled and answered.  It only took me since the end of January to get it all done.

Hope you all enjoyed reading it

Cynthia

One of those rare Occasions

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So my daughter is away for the night which means that Cynthia gets to come out and party.  And by party and mean sit on the couch and watch TV.

It was a pretty slow day at work so I was not really tired which meant I at least had the energy to get ready.  The wife and I headed to the mall to get something to watch for the night and we picked up season 3 of a show we really like.  Bob’s Burgers.  For those of you that are not familiar with it it’s a animated show that revolves around a family’s wacky antics as they try to keep their restaurant open.  After the mall we went and grabbed some supper from a sub shop and headed home.  After supper I hopped in the shower and got cleaned up and proceeded to put on my underwear and slip in my forms.  Tonight I was finally able to wear the dress I had purchased back in  January that I wrote about here.  I didn’t go crazy with the make up,  just put on some lipstick for some colour.

The rest of the night was spent with the wife sitting in front of the TV just having a good laugh.  Sometimes it’s not what you do it’s who you do it with.

I am still working on part 2 of the 100 Questions that someone might ask a Crossdresser and I am down to 3 questions.  As soon as I can complete the last 3 questions I will post up the second part of the list.  If anyone has any ideas for the final 3 questions please email me at cynthia01012 at gmail.com and I will give you credit for the question and I will link back to your blog.  If you want to complete the list yourself I will email me and I will send you a copy of the list.

Thanks for reading

Cynthia

100 Questions Someone might ask a Crossdresser

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I had some fun doing the 100 questions blog awhile back so after I completed that I decided 100 questions more geared for a Crossdresser would be even more fun.  Now as easy as you would think it might be I had to wrack my brain trying to come up with all of them and even had to call in some favours from friends and family to complete the whole list.  Questions 66 to 85 were compiled from the woman I work with and I am hoping my wife will contribute a couple as well.

Just like the other 100 question blog post I will be breaking it into 2 parts because 100 questions is a lot to read.

 

1. How old were you when you realized you were different?  I was at least 5 or 6 years old
2. How old were you when you first tried wearing women’s clothes, make up etc?  Around the age of 7 I think
3. Have you ever told anyone you were a Crossdresser? If yes who? I have told my wife, A friend and a co-worker
4. At what age did you come up with your femme name?  I picked Cynthia when I was about 26
5. Did you use any other femme names before you chose your current name if so what was it?  For awhile I used Anastasia.
6. How did you come up with your Femme name?  I had seen the name Cynthia somewhere before and really liked the sound of it.
7. Have you ever been caught dressed?  No.
8. How did the people you told take it?  Wife and friend were a little surprised and co-worker took it great.
9. Are you married?   Yes.
10. Does your spouse know? and if so are they accepting?  Yes she has known for at least 20 years now and is great about it.
11. What was the first article of women’s clothes you ever bought?  The very first item I ever bought was a skirt from a thrift store. 
12. What was the last article of women’s clothes you bought?  I bought a new dress about 2 months ago.
13. Long or short skirts?  Depends on my mood but at least to my knees or longer.
14. Do you venture out dressed? If yes how often do you go out dressed?  Never strayed past my back deck while dressed.
15. If you could go back and change one thing about your Crossdressing what would it be?  I would have started dressing in front of my wife a lot sooner.  She always told me I could but I was too self conscious.
16. Do you feel being a Crossdresser makes you a better person? If yes how so? I think I have a better idea how women feel and therefore understand them more.
17. How long were you dating / married before you told your significant other or spouse?  I think roughly 5 months.
18. What is your favourite article of clothing? A denim skirt that my wife gave me.
19. If you have bought your own clothes,  have you ever had any issues with store clerks?  Never had a issue as I make a list and tell the clerks that it’s for my wife.
20. What is your greatest Crossdressing accomplishment?  Buying clothes by myself.
21. What is your favourite brand of make up?  Mary Kay.
22. Do you wear perfume? If yes what is your favourite fragrance?  I have a terrible sence of smell so it would be a waste.
23. How many lipsticks do you own?  11
24. What is your favourite colour of lipstick called?  Berry Kiss.
25. Did you buy breast forms or do you make your own?  I have made a few sets from pantyhose and rice to a sewn set.
26. Do you ever have dreams related to Crossdressing? if yes what was it?  I have had only one that I can remember.  It involved my mother in law somehow finding out I dressed and then getting me a gift card to my favourite store.
27. When not dressed how often do you think about it,  for example while at work?  At least 10-15 times a day.
28. Favourite hair removal method?  Shaving.
29. If you could spend a day with anyone else dressed who would it be? I have always wanted to have a girls day with the wife.
30. Do you have space in the closet for your clothes or do you have to hide them?  Seeing as my daughter does not know it’s best to keep stuff as well hidden as I can.
31. Have you ever purged your clothes?  No.
32. Given the opportunity would you take a job where you could work as either your male or female self at any time?  Most likely not.  I have a hard enough time keeping male clothes looking good at work.
33. Do you paint your natural finger nails or use fake ones?  I use fake ones.  I use fake ones.  Way easier to clean up.
34. What Colour do you like to use on your finger nails?  Purples or pinks.
35. Do you keep your toe nails painted?  Only in the Fall and Winter
36. What colour nail polish do you like best on your toes?  Mostly a metallic purple
37. If you wear make up what part do you find the hardest to learn how to do?  I find eye shadow the hardest part for me to do. 
38. Have you ever had a professional make over?  No.
39. Have you ever worn a Bikini or other swimsuit?  No.
40. Do you own or have you ever worn a Wedding Dress?  No.
41. Do you own a wig or use your own hair?  I own a very cheap wig that does not look very believable.  For the most part I do have longer hair that I just pull back into a pony tail.
42. How often are you able to dress up during the week?  With a teenage daughter not at all save for under dressing.
43. How many Blouses do you own?  4
44. How many Skirts do you own?  6
45. How many Dresses do you own?  1
46. How many bra’s do you own?  8
47. How many pair’s of panties do you own? 15 or more
48. What is your favourite colour for lingerie?  Pink
49. Panythose or Thigh Highs?  I will wear both but thigh highs are so much easier and better looking in my opinion.
50. Favourite place to shop for misc items?  Shoppers Drug Mart. 

Questions 51-100

 

So that’s questions 1 to 50.  I still have about 15 or so questions that I have to complete before I can do questions 51-100.  I even went as far as to put it out on Twitter but never got any replies back.  So we will see what I can think of today.

Thanks for reading.

Cynthia

The History of Cynthia: 1983

 

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I thought I would try to recall some of the earliest and most important memories I have of being a Crossdresser.

Most Crossdressers start out with a piece of clothing from either thier mother or sister but me on the other hand started out with make up,  Eye shadow to be exact.

From my best recollection this would have been around the age of 7 so that puts us in 1983.

In the 1980’s Make up ads looked like this
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The number one song of 1983 was Every Breath you Take by the Police.

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And The FCC authorized Motorola to begin testing cellular phone service in Chicago.

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And I was just at the beginning of questioning who and what I was even though I did not know it at the time.

Even from a young age I knew I was different from the other boys,  although I was not really sure what it was.  I was always looking at the way women were dressed and the make up they wore more than any of the other boys were, And if they were they were not mentioning it.  It seems to me I was always drawn in by the face,  Clothes can be just put on but a decent make up application takes times and practice to learn.

I remember having to get something out of the bathroom cupboard one night and coming across a (if I remember correctly) Aloette eye shadow palette.  I know there were 4 colours,  bright blue,  dark green,  possible a light beige and the last I can’t remember.

I was amazed when I found this hidden gem at the back of the cupboard,  it was not kept where the rest of my mothers make up was kept and it was buried so far at the back of the cupboard I knew she would not be looking for it.  Any time I could get the chance to have a peak at it I would and was always careful to place it back in the exact same spot.  I am not sure how many times I took it out to look at it before I finally got the idea to try it on.

When I had finally worked up the courage to try the eye shadows I had the night planned out.  My bedroom was at the far end of the house,  then the bathroom and after that was my sibling and then my parents.  I was able to keep a eye on all the other lights in the house to see when everyone was heading off to sleep.  As the lights went out one by one I waited even longer then crept down to make sure I could hear the regular sleeping noises and then made my way as quietly as I could into the bathroom and locked the door.

I pulled the eye shadow out of the cupboard and propped myself up onto the bathroom counter trying to remember how I had watched my mother do this before.  With my face almost up against the mirror I started to apply the shadow to one eye and then the other.  I am pretty sure I had picked the blue only and was making a terrible mess everywhere.  As I pulled back from the mirror to get a better look I was horrified.  Staring back at me was not the image I had expected but more or less the image of a circus clown.  I was mortified.

I quickly grabbed a wash cloth and some soap and proceeded to scrub my face and eyes harder than I ever had before.  It may have just been the fear but I was sure it was not washing off and by the time I was sure it was gone my face was red and sore.  I made sure like on so many other occasions to put everything back in it’s place and clean up the mess and head off to bed.

I was sure at that point I would never,  ever,  ever try that again.  But as we can all guess that was not the case.  I did try it again and it was the same outcome (I am still terrible with shadow) but each time I was a little less hard on myself.  I still had no Idea what I was at this point and it would be a little bit longer before I would have a word to explain what I was doing.

Cynthia.