Taking Small Steps Forward.


Still in lock down here in Ontario, so I thought I would re-live some happy times from the past.  Be warned,  there is a ton of pictures in this post.

I keep it no secret that I have never been out in public dressed, but that’s not to say that as I have gotten older that it’s not on the table.

For most of my life as a Crossdresser I had no desire to leave the house.  It was equal parts fear and not being skilled enough in my dressing and makeup to even come close to passing.  But has I have aged more the itch to get out has become stronger.

The first step in this process was leaving my house in broad daylight. Way, WAY back in 2018 I was asked to house sit for someone and it would be at least 3 months of being by myself on a large chunk of property well off the road. There was all the privacy I needed to get outside and enjoy some of the sunlight and more than enough driveway that if someone was to try and come in they would be seen and I could retreat into the house.

August of 2018 rolled around and I packed up all my stuff to take with me to house sit. About 3 boxes of clothes, makeup, and other miscellaneous objects along with my camera. My first chance to dress came about mid-month, I had tried previously to that but I found that +28 degree heat and humidity in Canada did not equal a great experience wearing makeup.

When we finally got to the point in August where the heat was bearable enough to wear some makeup and not have it slide off your face I decided it was time to try again. hang_upThe upstairs of this house had a clothes rack hanging from the wall and was a great place to hang up all my clothes so they were ready for a quick change. Makeup was difficult because the only room that was adequate to apply was a very small bathroom with terrible lighting, through some trial and error I made it work.

Once my face was done and I was dressed in my first outfit, it was time to head outside. This was my first trip outside past the front door and the feeling of the sun on me was great, it was like I was seeing the outside for the first time with new eyes. I was still a little cautious even though there was no way I could be seen by anyone, years of trying to hide my dressing had taken their toll. I set the Tripod up and programmed the camera for a 10-second timer and a 5 shot burst. I donned my wig pushed the button and stepped in front of the lens.

I found the 5 shot was the best method for taking photos because it gives you some time to move between the shots giving the pictures a little more life. 

I couldn’t tell what the pictures looked like on the crappy little screen on the camera so I figured it was best to take all the pictures I wanted with all the outfits I wanted to wear and check them on the computer later on. After my first outfit, I changed 4 more times and took close to 100 photos.

After packing up the camera I sat down in the chair with my trusty laptop in hand and waited patiently while the pictures were uploaded from the camera. Of course, there was a fair share of pictures that did not turn out or were out of focus due to me moving but the majority (at least in my mind) turned out well.

Truth be told I hate having my picture taken while in male mode, I have actively tried not to have my picture taken since I was in high school. So I was kinda shocked when after about a dozen photos I came across these couple.

There was a hot wind blowing through the yard that day and it just made the dress flutter in the wind.  I have to say it’s really the best picture of me taken ever.

Scrolling through the other photo’s made me happy that I had taken the chance to head outside for this little adventure.

Clearly, you can tell this was the wrong color foundation.

I was able to experiment with so many of my outfits and dresses that up to that point had been sadly hardly every worn.  The dress below specifically was one of the first dresses I went out and bought on my own with no help from my wife.  It hold’s a special place in my closet.


So it continued for the remainder of August and into September and October, I was able to dress and just relax or dress and head outside to take a bunch of pictures. It was one of the most fun times I have ever spent. It was great being able to take the time to work on my makeup skills and put a little more thought into my outfits instead of just reaching into the closet and pulling the first thing out.

Not only did I have the experience of getting outside, but this was the summer when I really started to properly expand my makeup and tools. IMG_20180909_115325I was getting closer to my proper shade of foundation and with new sponges the applications was turning out better. Experimenting with a decent set of eyeshadow brushes really makes the application easier and look 100% better even for an beginner like me.

This was also the time when I was experimenting with different types of foundation, specifically Maybelline Fit Me Matte+poreless. I had purchased at least 3 colors and was experimenting with them during all the pictures. You can clearly see in some of the September photos that my foundation was not the proper shade. Thankfully the next color I tried was spot on and I have been a true believer of Maybelline face products since.

So do I still want to get out of the house?  Yes I do,  but Currently that’s not an option.  Hopefully we can get ourselves out of this COVID mess and try and get life back to something normal.  I still have some hopes that a local CD meeting group can be started here in the city,  I have seen some other interest in it so we will have to see where it leads once people in Ontario are allowed out and about and have decent access to the vaccines.

I find myself digging back into my digital storage and looking at the pictures and not only seeing a new experience that I had but from the perspective of 2020/2021 feels like a simpler time.



Blog Banner image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay 

My Favorite Things.


I was bored the other night and on a whim decided to post a picture of my favorite eyeshadow palette on Twitter Thinking I would make it a “My Favorite Things” thread. 

I believe it works better as a blog post,  so here ya go.  This is labeled as Part One because I know I will miss some stuff and have to put out a Part Two in the near future.

All of these item’s were purchased by myself and are my own unbiased opinion.  I have not be paid or gifted these items by the respective owners,  but if anyone wants to send me free things I would totally be up for that,  just sayin.

This Dress

Picked this dress up from Penningtons on clearance at the time.  It’s a 3/4 sleeve with a very light fabric.  The picture of me was part accident and part planned as I had my camera set to burst shot and as I moved around the wind also picked up giving a decent pic.  It is seriously the best picture there is of me that most people will never see.

This Top.

This top could go with so many items from a pair of jeans to a plain black skirt,  it can do it all.  The only issue I have with this top is it’s see through,  so there is a need to wear something else.  I usually just pair it with a tank top underneath for the extra coverage.

This Skirt.

I don’t really own a lot of skirts (Maybe 5 or 6) so I really did have a hard time of picking just one I loved more than all the rest so I had to pick 2. 

First up is a Lace Pencil skirt I had my eye on since I first saw it on the Penningtons website.  It was the perfect length and the burgundy lace over the black looks amazing.  I bolted into the store the second I saw this thing go into the sale area at half off and was not disappointed. 


Second is a Pleated Shark Bite Skirt which has an inner and outer layer with the latter being see through.  This is the classic swishing skirt that flows behind you as you walk.  It could be used for a formal situation but could also be worn with a relaxed top for a casual look.

This Bra.

This is the Ashley Graham Animal Print Phenomenon Convertible Bra and it is by far one of the most comfortable bra’s I have ever owned.  This bra does not move or slide down because of the silicone bands on the inside for extra grip when the straps are removed to convert it to strapless.  Plus with the 6 clasps in the back it gives great support to hold on when forms are in place.  Plus you can’t go wrong with the purple animal print,  and of course I got the matching bottoms.


These Pantyhose.

I have spent way to much money over the years trying to find that elusive pair of pantyhose or thigh high’s that will last forever,  alas it is still an ongoing search but these are the closest I have come to being my Holy Grail.

These (at least for me) seem to take a little bit more punishment than some others I have tried before,  and if you have cats you will know the struggle is real.

This Razor.

I have tried a lot of different razors from cheap drugstore brand 2 blades to the more expensive 5 blade variants,  and I have to say by far this beats them all.  I know some people say there is no difference between men’s and woman’s razors but this one in my opinion is well above them all for shaving legs.

The flexible head does follow curves very well and makes it easier to get every last little hair.  I know major brands of razor are very expensive but I have found these last quite a long time for me at least even shaving every 2 to 3 day.


This Moisturizer.

I’m gonna be honest,  I had not tried any other facial moisturizers before purchasing this one but the more I learned about makeup the more kept hearing that a better base lead’s to better looking makeup application.  After some research the Olay Complete Moisturizer seemed like a good affordable choice.

This has very little scent and absorbs quickly.  I was actually amazed at how soft the skin on my grizzled old face felt after using this.


This Lipstick.

Not only is it a great color from a great line of makeup it was also a Christmas present,  so that makes this very special to me.   I have wanted a MAC lipstick forever and last year I got my wish.  It’s a bold red color and damn does it look great.  Was a MAC lipstick worth waiting for?  You bet!

From MAC

A creamy, balmy Lipstick formula with a comforting feel, medium buildable coverage and a semi-glossy finish.

Brave Red is a Bright Yellow Red

and from Temptalia

MAC Brave Red is a moderately warm-toned, medium-dark red with a natural finish.


This Eyeshadow Palette.

Say what you want about drug store makeup but this palette looks amazing.  I don’t really have the money to be dropping at places like Sephora or MAC so I usually wait till I see something I want at the drug store go on sale.  This is one of them.  The colors are so vibrant and the pigmentation and application are great in my opinion.

So there is My Favorite Things part one.  It took me well over a week to write this wracking my brain as to what I really thought was my actual Favorite things over the others that I have.

Thanks for reading.


What’s New?


Hello lovely readers,  I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected with the current times we are living in.

There is not much going on around here to really report.  My Wife and Kid were able to come home near the end of may after having to look after my Mother-In-Law and we have settled back into as much of a normal routine as can be expected at this point.

With the Kid being back home there is not much chance to dress at this point.  We have no active cases in our city but we are still being very, VERY picky where we let the kid go due to the fact that both my Wife and Mother-In-Law now have health issues,  so it would be a very bad idea to have a case of this enter into the house.

On the upside restrictions have been mostly lifted around these parts but we are required by law to wear a mask when entering into any business which is completely fine by me seeing as I have to wear one at work whenever I enter a customers house so it’s not a big deal really.  But opening stores means I can go shopping again,  something I have sorely missed.

I figured now would be a good time to post some of the haul I have been picking up since before the whole COVID19 thing and after.

Skin Care

1. Olay Cleanse Gentle Foaming Cleanser


This was purchased in April while I was out grocery shopping.  Seeing as I was dressing a lot more meant I was shaving way more and a lot closer than I normally do.  I added this to my routine to see if it would help cut down on the pimples that would form after.  This mixed with the Olay toner seemed to be working really good at lowering the amount I was seeing after I shaved.  The easiest way I found to integrate this into my routine was to shave, use this in the shower then toner after getting out before moisturizing.

2. Olay Active Hydrating Beauty Fluid Lotion


This was purchased at the same time as the facial cleanser.  Partly out of a little nostalgia and the fact that I had more than enough time to really start a new nighttime routine whilst I was home alone every night for like 2 months.  I can clearly remember the original bottles of this stuff from when I was a kid and I just had to try it.  It’s not too bad but I don’t think I like it as much as my Olay Complete.


1. Maybelline Fitme! Pressed Powder

Picked this up for some quick fixes when I am dressed.  I have oily skin and it takes it toll on my makeup.  I find that after a few hours I need a slight touch up and this seems to do the trick.  It has a nice little storage area underneath the powder to keep your sponge separated when not in use.  So far I have been really happy with all the Fitme! products I have tried over the last 2 years,  I just wished I had tried them a lot sooner.


Easily one of my most favorite things about my whole makeup routine since I have had time to practice it a lot more over the years.  One of my hardest decisions of the night is which shade I will go with and then build my face around that.

Maybelline Color Sensational Lipsticks

1. 166 Copper Charge (Cream)

I really have a soft spot for pearl or metallic lipsticks for some reason,  maybe they were popular during my formative years.  Whatever the reason I always pick out some in some different shades.  This one though did not really give me the color payoff I was thinking it would.  I think I need to try it some more before I write this color off.

2. 233 Pink Pose (Cream)

3. 244 Pink Score (Cream)

4. 266 Pink Thrill (Cream)

I decided to go a little pink crazy.  I was never really a fan of light pinks before thinking I could not pull them off,  after I had tried one that other that I had picked up I really liked the look so decided to buy more to try.

5. 322 Wine Rush (Cream)

6. 665 Lust For Blush (Matte)

7. 670 Ravishing Rose (Matte)

More pinks,  but in a matte finish.

8. 691 Rich Ruby (Matte)

CoverGirl Exhibitionist Lipstick

1. 515 Love Me Later (Metallica)

Again with a couple more frosted lipsticks,  but to my surprise this one had a way better pay off than the Maybelline one in my opinion.  It’s been a while since I purchased any CoverGirl lipstick because one of the last few I bought was very staining to the lips and was hell to remove.

2. 525 Ready or Not (Metallica)

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick

1. 017 Crushed Rubies (Matte)

This is one of the new Revlon Super Lustrous The Luscious Mattes Lipsticks.  I was really happy with the colors and the feel of the last line of matte’s that they had and can’t wait to get a chance to try this color out.

2. 625 Iced Amethyst (pearl)

3. 755 Bare It All (Creme)

4. 770 Dramatic (Creme)

5. 775 Super Red (Creme)

Revlon Super Lustrous The Gloss

1. 200 Crystal Clear

I had tried lip gloss years ago and decided then I really hated it.  There is nothing worse than a feeling of something constantly being stick on your lips and that’s what you get with gloss.

I thought to myself “Well it’s been at least 15 years since the last time I tried it,  it must have changed since then, right?” nope.  Still just leaves a super heavy sticky mess on the lips.  Maybe I am not wearing it right.

2. 260 Rosy Future


Wet n Wild

1. 10 pan Color Icon in Rose in the Air

This is my third Wet n Wild 10 pan palette,  I purchased the first 2 after I read a review that said these were really good for the price.  Here in Canada they seem to retail for about $7.00 and for the amount of options you can get out of one of these I think they are really worth the money.


1. City Mini Palette in Chill Brunch Neutrals

Picked up the City Mini Palette’s (there is multiple versions) in Chill Brunch Neutrals mainly because of that dark purple and the gold shades.  Not sure if I am doing something wrong or I got a bad one but there seems to be no way for me to be able to build the purple color up,  it just ends up looking washed out,  and that’s with me using a primer.

2. The Nudes Of New York

I am hoping I just had a bad experience with the last Maybelline eyeshadow and decided to try again with the Nudes of New York Palette.  I really have so many looks I would like to try with that Fighter color on the bottom row.

3. The Burgundy Bar

Another Maybelline palette that I had my eye on for a while.  The one that really drew me in was the dark color on the bottom left.


1. Wet n Wild Photofocus Eyeshadow Primer


I was not sure that I really needed an eye primer until I decided to use my face primer on my eyes as well one night and the difference was night and day.  Normally I find my eyeshadow really wears out in only a few hours as apparently, I have very oily eyelids.  The primers really help to give a starter canvas for your shadows to attach too.  And again Wet n Wild products will not break the bank.

2. Assorted Wet n Wild Brushes


Picked these up at a local dollar store for $1.25 each.  Wet n Wild brushes from what I have read a really decent for the price.  I only wish there was more selection but these are all they had.

3. Maybelline Volume Express The Falsies Mascara


The last time I was out I figured I had better pick up some new mascara as my other ones are getting up there in age and should be thrown out soon.  I have been very happy with a few other styles of Maybelline Mascara and decided to try out this one as well.

Addition Elle

And in a slightly sad note,  Canadian plus-size retailer Addition Elle decided that they would be closing up all of their stores and moving their sales to the sister store of Penningtons.  It’s kind of a sad thing for me as the local Addition Elle was the first place I ever worked up the courage to go in and buy stuff without my wife.

The wife and I headed to the closing sale to see what we could find,  but by the time we had made it there the store was already was almost picked cleaned.  The wife did get a nice fall/spring jacket but the only thing really left in my size range was pantyhose,  well at least it was on clearance for $2.00 which is a really good bargain seeing as it usually retails for $12.95,  and there are 2 pairs in the box so I now have some extras at least.

So that’s pretty much everything I have picked up since sometimes in January.  COVID put a real damper on the shopping but at least we are getting back to something like normal.

If you guys like or don’t like this kind of content please let me know in the comments as I really want to write stuff you want to read.



What did I put my wife through? Tales of the Pink Fog.


You know,  I don’t think I have ever apologized to my wife for all the hell I put her through when I would get into “Pink Fog’s” years ago.

For anybody wondering the “Pink Fog” can be described as an intense desire towards your dressing.  Whether that means the actual act itself or wanting to go and buy things for the act.  At one point or another, I was guilty of all that.  And in some respects, I may have been slightly worse than some others.  After a conference, my wife picked up a pamphlet that described the signs of Attention Deficit Disorder in adults,  I actually met 10 of the 12 criteria.  One of the biggest being Hyper Focusing.

Well, what is Hyper Focusing you may ask?

“People with ADHD may immerse themselves so completely in an activity that they want to do or enjoy doing to the point that they become oblivious to everything around them. This concentration can be so intense that an individual loses track of time, other chores, or the surrounding environment. While this level of intensity can be channeled into difficult tasks, such as work or homework, the downside is that ADHD individuals can become immersed in unproductive activities while ignoring pressing responsibilities.”

The quote is taken from here.

Yup,  that’s me in a nutshell,  so that means I can hyperfocus on my dressing to the point where it can be an extreme thought in my head.  What have I done to my poor wife.

The dressing according to my wife was never the problem,  it was when I was incessantly bugging about it that it became a problem.  Whenever I wanted something new or wanted to dress it was her that took the brunt of having to hear about it.  It could be for days or weeks on end that I would go on about it,  looking back it makes me feel like a huge pain.

Thankfully I did (I hope) get better with the Pink Fog.  Firstly because I was able to get over my fears of buying things for myself and secondly because my dressing has evolved to the point where I don’t really go into dressing hiatuses anymore.  The dressing is always close to my thoughts no matter what time of year or how I am feeling anymore,  although I still do find when stressed I do want to dress more still.

Just to get the other side of this conversation I decided to ask my wife some questions about it.

1: How would you describe how my pink fogs affected you? It became your only focus, the only thing you would talk about, the only shopping you wanted to do. It made me want to avoid you.


2: To the best of your recollection, how often did they occur? In the beginning every 4 or 5 months. But they have lessened.


3: What was worse, wanting to dress, wanting to buy things, or just me talking about it? Wanting to buy things. I hate shopping.


4: Was there a time when it became worse? When stress picked up.


5: Did you ever just want the dressing and fogs to go away? No, it was part of you. I accepted that before we were even married. The fog at times I wanted you to focus on something else.


6: I am better now, Right? Yes you are a lot better but I think part of that is because you can feel comfortable going out shopping on your own. I have never liked clothing shopping,  buying makeup and I despise shoe shopping. It just feels like a waste of time and money to me. It has never been me. I am comfortable in Jean’s and tank tops, I barely wear makeup and I would go around barefoot if I could. You call me a hippie. lol, My thing is books, art, wool.

Love ya!
So I was beyond annoying at times,  and when I look back at it I really regret being that way.  I am so glad I was able to get over my fears of going out and buying things for myself,  I think it’s been easier on both of us.
So In closing,  I am very sorry for what I put you through my dear and I am so glad that you accepted me and are still here with me now.  Here is to another 20 or so years.


Thanks for reading


Background image for blog banner from Pixabay by ewxy

How’s the Isolation going?


I miss my wife,  I miss my Kid and I miss the old normal world we had.  Other than that life’s going great.

I am on week four without my wife and kid here and it’s lonely, very lonely.  I can deal with the silence,  but it’s not being able to be with my family that’s the hardest part.  Like I mentioned in my last post,  my wife has had to leave to look after her mom who has had a stroke and is recovering at home.  Since I am still working I am supposed to limit my contact with them until the social isolation restrictions are lifted here.  We only had a handful of confirmed cases here but I can’t take the chance that I could pass it onto my MIL or my wife for that matter.  So my nights are spent at home by myself with only 2 cats for company and let me tell you,  they are terrible conversationalists.

At most I might see my wife and kid an hour or 2 in the span of a week and that’s just when I drop off mail or groceries,  most of our contact now is either text or phone.  It’s the little things I find I miss most,  sitting around watching TV,  eating supper together or heading out like we used to for a trip to the second-hand store to make fun of some of the more unusual things there.

But on a slight upside, seeing as I have the house all to myself it does open up a ton of possibilities for dressing when I have the time.  Most nights I don’t really feel like doing a whole session with makeup and the lot so when I get home I just have a shower and do all that stuff and slip into my nightgown and relax for the rest of the night other than some small chores,  and if I am feeling really good I might even put a splash of lipstick on.

Depending on what I have to do on the weekends I can usually get one day dressed then maybe a half-day if I can fit it in.  I usually try to get all my chores out of the way as early as possible trying not to be too loud to bother other people in the apartment with vacuuming and such.  Then usually by 10 AM, I am all done so I can head off for the bathroom for a shower, shaving.  20190531_153958I can be sitting at my temporary makeup desk AKA the kitchen table.  I can leave my makeup out all the time and even have the room to set up my makeup mirror which is a big help.  This is where I have really been taking my time,  I don’t have to hurry and get my face on.  I can take my time and play with some different colors and styles,  so far it has worked out pretty well.

I am still using the face and eye primers before makeup application and I gotta say they really do help out as far as keeping things in place.  I never really thought they would make all that much difference but they really do.20190604_141407

I try to plan my outfit in my head while I do my makeup,  something fancier at first, and then get into something more casual for the rest of the day/night.  I would love to be able to take pictures and I really do try but the lighting in our apartment is horrendous and even though I take a ton,  most don’t turn out at all.  So it seems I am limited to bathroom mirror selfies or selfies taken in front of the bedroom window where I can get some decent natural light.20190601_144750

So that’s how my isolation has been going.  At this point, Ontario is starting to work on how it will re-open the economy when the instances of new cases drop below a certain number but there is no hard date set as of yet.  So we will continue on like this for the foreseeable future.

I hope all of my readers are safe and healthy.  Keep your chins up and lipstick on,  we will get through this.


Thing’s never stay the same.


So in my last post, I made mention of how my wife has had to go and look after her Mom for at least the next little while,  what I did not get into was the reasoning,  My mother-in-law had a stroke.

The stroke was not as severe as it could have been but at this time she is still suffering the effects of such a dangerous event to the brain.  Her mobility has been decreased and she is still getting confused at times, all of which is normal according to her Doctors.  She should have been in the hospital for at least a week after a stroke of this nature but right now hospitals here would rather you go home and hopefully not end up in ICU with COVID-19 as well.

So depending on what gets discussed after the next 4 weeks of waiting and how well her mom has recovered, there is a chance that we may have to move in with her to help her in the long term.  Currently, my mother-in-law lives alone in a decently sized house all by herself,  there is ample room for my wife, kid and myself to move in and help out while still keeping a space that can be just for us if needed.

My main concern with this as you can tell seeing as I am writing about it on my blog will be my freedom and ability to be able to dress in peace.  I have no issues helping out with my MIL but of course, my mind always goes to the worst-case scenario?  Even with careful planning, there is always the chance that I could be caught by my MIL and I am not sure what the outcome of that situation would be.

This is has been rattling around in my head since my wife brought up the idea of moving in to help her about a week ago.  It’s a challenge here sometimes to make the arrangements so I have the freedom to dress.  The kid has to be gone to friends and I have to make sure everything that I need to get done that day gets done so I have the time to just get ready and then relax in the moment.  How will this work if my MIL needs something and I am midway through my makeup routine?  Sure I can take my makeup off and head up to help if the situation demands it but there is always that chance that I can miss some foundation or my mascara does not come completely off.

Of course, the other option is to come out and just tell my MIL that I am a crossdresser and address the elephant in the room before anything like the latter happens.  I have known my MIL for over 20 years now and couldn’t even begin to tell you how she would react to a situation like this.  Now even if I did tell her I am not under the assumption that she would be welcoming Cynthia with open arms,  no I think it would be the latter and she may be a little uneasy with the notion that her Son-in-law spends his spare time wearing makeup and heels.  And I don’t want any awkwardness,  my relationship with my MIL has been at times, strained to say the least over the years for various reasons.

So what’s the answer to this conundrum?  well, right now we just have to wait and see where she will be medically wise in the next little while and hopefully she will recover enough to be still able to live on her own.

Thanks for reading.


Life Updates On The New Normal.

the new normal

How are all my readers doing?  staying safe and healthy I hope.

Here were are in April of 2020 and things here have taken and slight turn for the worse. As well as social distancing my Mother-in-law has taken ill (Not COVID) and my wife and child have had to pack up and leave to be with her to help her around her house. I have mixed feelings about this both good and bad.

On the good side as I am still working and heading out every day there is always the chance that I could bring home COVID-19 and pass it onto my wife who already has a suppressed immune system and depending on how bad the state of the hospitals at the time would surely succumb to it. So the distance between us now makes me feel a little better as an added measure to make sure she stays safe.

And seeing as I have the house all to myself now I can dress whenever I want. I can now come home and indulge in a full evening of dressing or just pop home from work, shave and throw some jeans and a top on with a splash of lipstick and have a lazy night.

On the bad side, it gets really lonely in the apartment, normally there is always some type of noise whether it is the kid watching youtube videos/gaming or the wife listening to some of her Creepy Pastas, it’s never quiet around here.  You don’t know true silence until you have to endure it. But for the safety of myself and my family, I can and will do this.

So seeing as I do have the opportunity to dress now I have taken the time for the last 4 days to do so in some shape or form whether it be just some jeans, blouse and lipstick like I mentioned before or like Saturday where I went all out.  I had planned to start first thing in the morning but I got caught up doing some chores.  I had to make sure I could bring back in our recycling bins before getting dressed and I had to make at least one trip out to pick up some vital supplies for the elderly lady that lives above us.  She has issues getting out and about so I make it a point to ask if she needs anything before heading out.

The store was not crazy as I was expecting it to be,  people were queuing up outside and would only enter when someone else left. I made a point to pass the makeup aisle and glance at some things I really wanted but at this time I do not want to be browsing,  I just want to head in, get only what I need and back out again. Once back at home I needed to finish some cleaning and go get out recycling boxes that were now finally empty.  It was lunch by the time I had finished all the needed cleaning and I decided to have a bite to eat and then take a quick, short nap.  I woke up at around 2:30 and figured it was now time to start getting really ready.  I had a nice warm shower (It’s chilly here still) and cleaned up a bit,  shaved, toned and moisturized my face before getting half-dressed and sitting myself down in my hastily made kitchen makeup table. I decided it was time to try out the new Maybelline primer 20190602_083832_Richtone(HDR)I had picked up but never had a chance to use yet.  I was a little hesitant to try as I usually never have my makeup on for more than a few hours but seeing as I was starting to get dressed at 3ish I knew I would be wearing it until at least 9.  I decided to use it on my eyes as well seeing as I don’t own an actual eyeshadow primer,  I gotta say it’s a game-changer, turns out I have oily eyelids which is why Most of the time I find my eyeshadow moves all over the place and never stays put. But I kept checking in the mirror and by god, my eyeshadow looked the same all night.  When we are able to shop again I will for sure be picking up some eyeshadow primer from Maybelline.

Once I was sure I had used all the products that I had intended (I usually always forget something) I headed off the bedroom to slip into a dress I had purchased last fall but never had the chance to wear as of yet.  I guess you could call it a Little Black Dress with a velvet finish to it and a pattern on it. DSC07413Once done getting dressed I pulled out all my jewelry and proceeded to get into that and then headed to the living room to put on my nails and once that was done it was time to try and snap a few pictures.20190601_150015

Trying to get decent pictures in a small apartment can be hell and I can’t even find the tripod for my camera so I am stuck using an old cell phone either in the small bathroom mirror or close up shots in my makeup mirror,  not great options.  The rest of the night was spent relaxing on the couch either playing Borderlands 3 or watching Altered Carbon on Netflix.


So for the foreseeable future, this will be my new normal,  being able to dress whenever the urge strikes me,  or when I am not dead on my feet tired from work.  My only issue is what I have had to sacrifice to be here,  sure I can dress whenever I want but at the cost of human companionship,  this really is a double-edged sword.

I hope all of you are safe and sound and your families as well in these weird and trying time.

Be safe and thanks for reading.



Cynthia’s Christmas Wish List 2019.

Christmas 2019

Only 20 plus days till Christmas morning again and here in the house, we are almost ready.  We have picked up all the major presents for the Kid and have decided not to get each other anything because the one main gift we did get will be more like a family gift anyways.  I decided to throw together a little wish list of stuff that I came across this year that I thought would make great Christmas presents for me.

MAC Viva Glam 25 Lipstick

I do so love lipstick but I really don’t like spending a ton of money on it,  I mostly opt for drugstore brands and usually when on sale for 5 dollars or less.  But to me there is no more Iconic brand of makeup then MAC,  Why? Because I can still remember when they made Ru Paul the spokesperson for the brand and at that point, it was the first time I had ever seen anyone in drag where it was not the punchline of a joke.  But here we are years later and MAC has re-released the Viva Glam lipstick in the original color with special packaging and it looks so good.  Plus all the proceeds from the Viva Glam line are donated.

Every cent of the selling price of VIVA GLAM Lipstick is donated to organizations that support the health and rights of people of All Ages, All Races and All Genders.

This would be a great present


MAC Viva Glam 25


Makeup Mirror

What better way to enjoy that new lipstick than actually being able to see when I put it on.  I am starting to feel the effects of aging,  especially with my eyes.  Things that I used to be able to read so easy before like the serial number and passwords for routers,  I am now having to reach into my clipboard and pull out my cheaters.  I already own a somewhat decent makeup mirror but the magnification is not great and it uses an old-style incandescent lamp and I would love to move up to an LED-style one.  Found the one below at Bed Bath & Beyond.

makeup mirror

An elegant update for your bathroom or dressing area, the freestanding LED Vanity Mirror features a beautiful chrome finish that enhances any decor. Perfect for putting on your makeup, it is dual sized and offers 5X magnification and true image.

Put on your makeup with style and precision with the LED Vanity Mirror

  • Features LED lighting
  • 5x magnification
  • Freestanding design
  • Chrome finish blends with any decor
  • Metal/glass construction

From Bed Bath & Beyond

New Clothes

I always like to try and pick out a new fancier outfit at Christmas time that I would wear if I was ever to go out.  I always take a look at the Penningtons website because they seem to have the best fitting clothes for me and if I am lucky they will still have it when they have their big year end sale.

I picked out a couple this year,  the first is a Jersey Dress with metallic fabric.

Plus size jersey dress made with shiny metallic lurex details in a relaxed fit that provides comfort without taking away any elegance. Perfect evening dress to pair with heels.


  • 3/4 sleeves
  • V-neck
  • Knot detail in front
  • 45-in length

and the second is a sleeveless lace dress

It’s the little black dress reinvented with refinement. This stunning plus size lace dress is designed in a flattering fit and flare silhouette. Designed in a silky crepe with an accordion pleated skirt and a lace top with no lining at the upper neckline for a sheer delicate accent.


  • Sleeveless
  • Crew-neck
  • Concealed back zipper closure
  • V-cutout at back with fabric-covered button-closure
  • 48-in length

I am not a fan of sleeveless but I can’t help but love the look of this dress.  I am sure it could be paired with a shawl of some sort to cover my arms if needed.

Both Dresses from Penningtons

And what goes better with a new dress than some new Lingerie to wear underneath it all.  For lingerie, I always check out Addition Elle because they carry the Ashley Graham line of plus sizes but this year it was the store collection from Déesse that caught my eye.  Although this was from last season so it’s already sold out but I still do love the lace and the colours.  I have a few other sets in the Femme Couture line and they are some of my favorite’s

Déesse Femme Couture Lace Bra and High-Cut Cross Dye Lace Panty

From Addition Elle

So they were just a few of the nice things I have come across whilst surfing the internet that if I could,  would add to my Christmas list.

What have you got on yours?

Thanks for Reading


Header picture by Larisa-K from Pixaby


Making The Most Of A Saturday Night


Saturday afternoon the wife and I had to go out and get some groceries because Sunday was supposed to be pretty crappy.  After returning from groceries our kid told us that they were invited over to a friend’s house for the night.  At this point, it’s already after 3 and I like to be ready for makeup and clothes by at least 4 but this would not be the case and since I was interrupted the last time I tried to dress I was not going to pass up this golden opportunity.

It was around 3:30 when we headed out to take the kid off to their friends and decided to take a trip to the second-hand store as well before heading back home.  There was not much to look at so we headed home so I could start our dinner and continue on with the night.  Supper was finished around 6 and headed off to have a shower and was half tempted to shave my legs but I thought I could get away with at least one more time before it’s really needed.  After my shower, I pondered what to wear and had me heart set on a new velvet dress I picked up but seeing as we still would have to trek outside to take the dog out later I decided to go casual with a black tank under a new mesh top DSC07414my wife had picked out for me and a nice pair of jeans.  We sat in bed for a bit and watched some youtube science videos before the dog had to be taken out one last time and I thought I could get away without taking my forms out but they really stood out (Pun Intended) underneath my coat so they came out before heading out of doors.  It was time for a few more youtube videos before the wife started to fall asleep so I grabbed my makeup kit and headed for the bathroom.

I am not sure if it was the fact that I am using older style CCFL bulbs in the bathroom but I felt my foundation looked terrible but I kept on going.  I had a hell of a time trying to keep my one eyelid from jumping all over the place which made it insanely difficult to apply my eyeshadow properly but I persevered and it turned out somewhat okay.  I used my Covergirl Smoky palette using the second from the left for all over the lid and then the third from the left to go over the outer corners of my eye,  the photo is not really the best but it’s a shimmery purple color. DSC05477  I grabbed my Maybelline The Falsies mascara IMG_20180909_120521and did my best,  it’s a blue color and I actually pulled it off without getting it all over my face.  Now came the biggest decision of all to finish off my makeup,  the Lipstick.  Now I don’t want to say that I have a lot of lipsticks…..but……I…..Have….A…..TON.

I scanned through all the ones I have and finally decided on one I have only tried on once,  Maybelline Color Sensational Ruby For Me.  DSC06921These lipsticks were supposedly tested on multiple skin types and are supposed to work for everyone.  The color is a satin red lipstick and I have to say I am partial to it.  So now that my makeup was all done I headed off to the living room to just sit and relax with the internet and a little bit of Minecraft on my trusty old Xbox 360.  The plan was to stay up till about midnight but I barely made it to 10.  Somewhere around 9:30, I could feel my eyelids getting really heavy and decided it was time to clean up and head off to bed.  I pulled out my trusty Olay daily facial wipes and proceeded to take off all my makeup,  even the mascara.  I then finished cleaning up the rest of my mess and then headed off to bed.

It may not seem like the most exciting night of all time but when my dressing is sporadic at best it’s nice to finally be able to pull it off even if only for a little bit.

Thanks For Reading.




Picture for Title Card by JESHOOTS from Pixaby.  Great free pictures to add to your blog.

Giving Thanks


It’s that time of year again when the leaves change color and fall, the wind starts to get colder and thanksgiving is upon us again, well at least here in Canada it is. I think in this day and age we really do need to look back at what we have, to keep where you are going in perspective.

I am so thankful for my wife who has put up with all of my habits over the years, from the dressing to all the hobbies and the weird little things I do. She has been by my side no matter what and that pretty much seems to sum up our relationship. It has not been all fun and games, we have had our fair share of downs that were so far down I did not think there was any way back up,  but we came back better than ever.

I am Thankful that our child feels safe enough in our house that they can be themselves. I did a post way back talking about how our child came out as nonbinary and how easy it seemed for them to be able to tell us about how they felt.  The wife and I always made sure to tell our kid that there was nothing they could ever tell us that would change how we felt about them.  We always assured them they were loved and nothing could ever stop us from loving them.

I am thankful that I live in Canada especially with some of the stuff going on in other places in the world today.  For the most part, my rights as a human being are upheld

I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to finally go out and meet someone that shares the same likes as I do.  It was a great experience and I can’t wait to do it again.

It’s not a huge list but just some of the first few things that popped into my head.

I hope all my fellow Canadians have a great Thanksgiving with Family and Friends.

Thanks for reading