Take some time for yourself.


This year has been F-ed up for so many reasons, and the amount of stress that can be associated with it is astronomical. Sometimes to deal with everything it’s a good idea to take even 5 minutes to think about yourself, so…..

I tweeted

For various reasons that I will not get into here, I will not be able to dress for the foreseeable future and it’s bumming me out. And it’s not that I dressed a lot to begin with, always having to make sure the house is empty of kids is a herculean task in and of itself, and even more so when you have teenagers. So to be honest, even pre-COVID I was only dressing maybe once a month (if that). But now that I know there is ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE AT ALL, it hits hard.

And I know that this situation has hit other people worse than me. I at least have my wife I can talk to about this and she understands the situation. For all the other Gals out there that are not out to their wives or still living in the closet, I feel for you, and you will get through this.

So back to my tweet about some self-care. I decided to take some of my advice and start my winter routine even though I can’t dress at this point. I figured I could at least shave my legs. The first time always takes so freaking long and so, so many razors. There is very little to no hair on my lower legs but my upper legs and knees more than make up for it, So trying to shave for the first time in a season is a real undertaking, and I just don’t have that kind of time and patience this year.

The new plan? let’s try some depilatory cream to make this a little easier. I did a little bit of research and settled on Nair Shower Power MAX for coarse hair, we had to take a trip to Wally World anyways which would be great because I was almost out of my favorite body lotion as well and it’s the only place it is sold in this entire city. We headed there for 9 and when we pulled in the place was still almost empty (It was Thanksgiving as well) and we were able to pull almost up to the door.

Once we were inside, had our cart, and sanitized our hands we were off. The wife had to head to the shampoo aisle and I took off to the shaving aisle first and quickly found what I was looking for. The Nair cream is a little pricey and way more than I would have spent on even 2 bags of razors and a ton of shaving cream to go along with it but it still seemed like the easier choice.
After the shaving aisle, it was off to the body lotion area where I grabbed my Olay Quench body lotion. I can’t figure out why in a city of this size there can be only one retailer that sells this brand of moisturizer? I have checked every drug store, grocery, and little shop I can find and no one else carry’s it. So that means when I run out it’s a trip to the far end of town to get a new one. And it’s not like it’s some sort of high-end moisturizer either, It’s Olay which pretty much is a staple of drugstore and the like. Okay, I am done ranting.

We wandered the home goods and electronics section before heading off to pick up some groceries and then proceeded to the checkout. To my amazement, there was no line and we were ushered up to an empty cashier. Once we had paid for everything we were out the door and heading home again.
Once home the wife went to lay down while I cleaned the kitchen and put all the groceries away. When I came across the bag with my Nair I decided to read the directions, and damn even with my glasses on I had to strain to see the writing. I know space is limited on these bottles but if these companies could please make the directions a little bigger that would be great, it is after all a chemical that burns the hair off the body.

The product has to be applied to dry skin and then you can get into the shower but you cannot leave the product on for more than 10 minutes. So the plan was to apply the product, set the timer, shave face, and then hop into the shower and wait for the timer to go off.

I announced like I always do before a shower, “DOES ANYONE NEED THE BATHROOM?” and I was greeted with a round of no’s, great I can now have some peace and quiet.

The Nair is applied with a weird sponge that comes with it, it’s smooth on one side and bumpy on the other. According to the directions you are to apply a thick coat with the smooth side of the sponge and then after waiting the time remove with the bumpy side using a circular motion. So the plan went into action and by the time I finished shaving, I only had 4 minutes left and hopped into the shower and started to clean up. Once the timer went off I grabbed the sponge again and started on my left leg, and HOLY CRAP this is so much faster than shaving. With standard razors and gel, I would have been stuck in the shower for at least 30 min (or longer) and have used half a can of shave gel and at least 3 razors (or more) before my legs were decent.

So now I am done in the shower and all I have to do is hop out, moisturize and I will be done.


Me: What?

Wife: I need the bathroom, are you done?

Me: I freaking asked if anyone needed it before I even went in here!

Wife: I know, but I didn’t have to go then.

Well shit, it never fails. I dried off as much as I could and applied moisturizer before I was unceremoniously kicked from the bathroom. All in all, though I did feel better.

Since starting to write this I have used the Nair a second time a week later. Some reviews said they were getting 2 weeks of hairless legs. I cannot say the same to be true, but it sure doesn’t come back in as sharp and prickly as when I was shaving. I think the plan will be to use it about every 2 to 3 weeks and shave in between and see how that goes.  my next self care plan will be to start painting my toenails again but I am waiting for a nail to heal after kicking a cat scratcher,  A couple more weeks at least.

It’s a good idea for your mental stability to take a few minutes for yourself and relax or find something you like to do. Make a blog, take a bath, or even go for a walk. And if you need to reach out to others for some help.  As I said, You can’t help other people if you first can’t help yourself.

Thanks for Reading.



Bathtub Image in blog banner by mohamed_hassan on Pixabay.

My Favorite Things.


I was bored the other night and on a whim decided to post a picture of my favorite eyeshadow palette on Twitter Thinking I would make it a “My Favorite Things” thread. 

I believe it works better as a blog post,  so here ya go.  This is labeled as Part One because I know I will miss some stuff and have to put out a Part Two in the near future.

All of these item’s were purchased by myself and are my own unbiased opinion.  I have not be paid or gifted these items by the respective owners,  but if anyone wants to send me free things I would totally be up for that,  just sayin.

This Dress

Picked this dress up from Penningtons on clearance at the time.  It’s a 3/4 sleeve with a very light fabric.  The picture of me was part accident and part planned as I had my camera set to burst shot and as I moved around the wind also picked up giving a decent pic.  It is seriously the best picture there is of me that most people will never see.

This Top.

This top could go with so many items from a pair of jeans to a plain black skirt,  it can do it all.  The only issue I have with this top is it’s see through,  so there is a need to wear something else.  I usually just pair it with a tank top underneath for the extra coverage.

This Skirt.

I don’t really own a lot of skirts (Maybe 5 or 6) so I really did have a hard time of picking just one I loved more than all the rest so I had to pick 2. 

First up is a Lace Pencil skirt I had my eye on since I first saw it on the Penningtons website.  It was the perfect length and the burgundy lace over the black looks amazing.  I bolted into the store the second I saw this thing go into the sale area at half off and was not disappointed. 


Second is a Pleated Shark Bite Skirt which has an inner and outer layer with the latter being see through.  This is the classic swishing skirt that flows behind you as you walk.  It could be used for a formal situation but could also be worn with a relaxed top for a casual look.

This Bra.

This is the Ashley Graham Animal Print Phenomenon Convertible Bra and it is by far one of the most comfortable bra’s I have ever owned.  This bra does not move or slide down because of the silicone bands on the inside for extra grip when the straps are removed to convert it to strapless.  Plus with the 6 clasps in the back it gives great support to hold on when forms are in place.  Plus you can’t go wrong with the purple animal print,  and of course I got the matching bottoms.


These Pantyhose.

I have spent way to much money over the years trying to find that elusive pair of pantyhose or thigh high’s that will last forever,  alas it is still an ongoing search but these are the closest I have come to being my Holy Grail.

These (at least for me) seem to take a little bit more punishment than some others I have tried before,  and if you have cats you will know the struggle is real.

This Razor.

I have tried a lot of different razors from cheap drugstore brand 2 blades to the more expensive 5 blade variants,  and I have to say by far this beats them all.  I know some people say there is no difference between men’s and woman’s razors but this one in my opinion is well above them all for shaving legs.

The flexible head does follow curves very well and makes it easier to get every last little hair.  I know major brands of razor are very expensive but I have found these last quite a long time for me at least even shaving every 2 to 3 day.


This Moisturizer.

I’m gonna be honest,  I had not tried any other facial moisturizers before purchasing this one but the more I learned about makeup the more kept hearing that a better base lead’s to better looking makeup application.  After some research the Olay Complete Moisturizer seemed like a good affordable choice.

This has very little scent and absorbs quickly.  I was actually amazed at how soft the skin on my grizzled old face felt after using this.


This Lipstick.

Not only is it a great color from a great line of makeup it was also a Christmas present,  so that makes this very special to me.   I have wanted a MAC lipstick forever and last year I got my wish.  It’s a bold red color and damn does it look great.  Was a MAC lipstick worth waiting for?  You bet!

From MAC

A creamy, balmy Lipstick formula with a comforting feel, medium buildable coverage and a semi-glossy finish.

Brave Red is a Bright Yellow Red

and from Temptalia

MAC Brave Red is a moderately warm-toned, medium-dark red with a natural finish.


This Eyeshadow Palette.

Say what you want about drug store makeup but this palette looks amazing.  I don’t really have the money to be dropping at places like Sephora or MAC so I usually wait till I see something I want at the drug store go on sale.  This is one of them.  The colors are so vibrant and the pigmentation and application are great in my opinion.

So there is My Favorite Things part one.  It took me well over a week to write this wracking my brain as to what I really thought was my actual Favorite things over the others that I have.

Thanks for reading.


What’s New?


Hello lovely readers,  I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected with the current times we are living in.

There is not much going on around here to really report.  My Wife and Kid were able to come home near the end of may after having to look after my Mother-In-Law and we have settled back into as much of a normal routine as can be expected at this point.

With the Kid being back home there is not much chance to dress at this point.  We have no active cases in our city but we are still being very, VERY picky where we let the kid go due to the fact that both my Wife and Mother-In-Law now have health issues,  so it would be a very bad idea to have a case of this enter into the house.

On the upside restrictions have been mostly lifted around these parts but we are required by law to wear a mask when entering into any business which is completely fine by me seeing as I have to wear one at work whenever I enter a customers house so it’s not a big deal really.  But opening stores means I can go shopping again,  something I have sorely missed.

I figured now would be a good time to post some of the haul I have been picking up since before the whole COVID19 thing and after.

Skin Care

1. Olay Cleanse Gentle Foaming Cleanser


This was purchased in April while I was out grocery shopping.  Seeing as I was dressing a lot more meant I was shaving way more and a lot closer than I normally do.  I added this to my routine to see if it would help cut down on the pimples that would form after.  This mixed with the Olay toner seemed to be working really good at lowering the amount I was seeing after I shaved.  The easiest way I found to integrate this into my routine was to shave, use this in the shower then toner after getting out before moisturizing.

2. Olay Active Hydrating Beauty Fluid Lotion


This was purchased at the same time as the facial cleanser.  Partly out of a little nostalgia and the fact that I had more than enough time to really start a new nighttime routine whilst I was home alone every night for like 2 months.  I can clearly remember the original bottles of this stuff from when I was a kid and I just had to try it.  It’s not too bad but I don’t think I like it as much as my Olay Complete.


1. Maybelline Fitme! Pressed Powder

Picked this up for some quick fixes when I am dressed.  I have oily skin and it takes it toll on my makeup.  I find that after a few hours I need a slight touch up and this seems to do the trick.  It has a nice little storage area underneath the powder to keep your sponge separated when not in use.  So far I have been really happy with all the Fitme! products I have tried over the last 2 years,  I just wished I had tried them a lot sooner.


Easily one of my most favorite things about my whole makeup routine since I have had time to practice it a lot more over the years.  One of my hardest decisions of the night is which shade I will go with and then build my face around that.

Maybelline Color Sensational Lipsticks

1. 166 Copper Charge (Cream)

I really have a soft spot for pearl or metallic lipsticks for some reason,  maybe they were popular during my formative years.  Whatever the reason I always pick out some in some different shades.  This one though did not really give me the color payoff I was thinking it would.  I think I need to try it some more before I write this color off.

2. 233 Pink Pose (Cream)

3. 244 Pink Score (Cream)

4. 266 Pink Thrill (Cream)

I decided to go a little pink crazy.  I was never really a fan of light pinks before thinking I could not pull them off,  after I had tried one that other that I had picked up I really liked the look so decided to buy more to try.

5. 322 Wine Rush (Cream)

6. 665 Lust For Blush (Matte)

7. 670 Ravishing Rose (Matte)

More pinks,  but in a matte finish.

8. 691 Rich Ruby (Matte)

CoverGirl Exhibitionist Lipstick

1. 515 Love Me Later (Metallica)

Again with a couple more frosted lipsticks,  but to my surprise this one had a way better pay off than the Maybelline one in my opinion.  It’s been a while since I purchased any CoverGirl lipstick because one of the last few I bought was very staining to the lips and was hell to remove.

2. 525 Ready or Not (Metallica)

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick

1. 017 Crushed Rubies (Matte)

This is one of the new Revlon Super Lustrous The Luscious Mattes Lipsticks.  I was really happy with the colors and the feel of the last line of matte’s that they had and can’t wait to get a chance to try this color out.

2. 625 Iced Amethyst (pearl)

3. 755 Bare It All (Creme)

4. 770 Dramatic (Creme)

5. 775 Super Red (Creme)

Revlon Super Lustrous The Gloss

1. 200 Crystal Clear

I had tried lip gloss years ago and decided then I really hated it.  There is nothing worse than a feeling of something constantly being stick on your lips and that’s what you get with gloss.

I thought to myself “Well it’s been at least 15 years since the last time I tried it,  it must have changed since then, right?” nope.  Still just leaves a super heavy sticky mess on the lips.  Maybe I am not wearing it right.

2. 260 Rosy Future


Wet n Wild

1. 10 pan Color Icon in Rose in the Air

This is my third Wet n Wild 10 pan palette,  I purchased the first 2 after I read a review that said these were really good for the price.  Here in Canada they seem to retail for about $7.00 and for the amount of options you can get out of one of these I think they are really worth the money.


1. City Mini Palette in Chill Brunch Neutrals

Picked up the City Mini Palette’s (there is multiple versions) in Chill Brunch Neutrals mainly because of that dark purple and the gold shades.  Not sure if I am doing something wrong or I got a bad one but there seems to be no way for me to be able to build the purple color up,  it just ends up looking washed out,  and that’s with me using a primer.

2. The Nudes Of New York

I am hoping I just had a bad experience with the last Maybelline eyeshadow and decided to try again with the Nudes of New York Palette.  I really have so many looks I would like to try with that Fighter color on the bottom row.

3. The Burgundy Bar

Another Maybelline palette that I had my eye on for a while.  The one that really drew me in was the dark color on the bottom left.


1. Wet n Wild Photofocus Eyeshadow Primer


I was not sure that I really needed an eye primer until I decided to use my face primer on my eyes as well one night and the difference was night and day.  Normally I find my eyeshadow really wears out in only a few hours as apparently, I have very oily eyelids.  The primers really help to give a starter canvas for your shadows to attach too.  And again Wet n Wild products will not break the bank.

2. Assorted Wet n Wild Brushes


Picked these up at a local dollar store for $1.25 each.  Wet n Wild brushes from what I have read a really decent for the price.  I only wish there was more selection but these are all they had.

3. Maybelline Volume Express The Falsies Mascara


The last time I was out I figured I had better pick up some new mascara as my other ones are getting up there in age and should be thrown out soon.  I have been very happy with a few other styles of Maybelline Mascara and decided to try out this one as well.

Addition Elle

And in a slightly sad note,  Canadian plus-size retailer Addition Elle decided that they would be closing up all of their stores and moving their sales to the sister store of Penningtons.  It’s kind of a sad thing for me as the local Addition Elle was the first place I ever worked up the courage to go in and buy stuff without my wife.

The wife and I headed to the closing sale to see what we could find,  but by the time we had made it there the store was already was almost picked cleaned.  The wife did get a nice fall/spring jacket but the only thing really left in my size range was pantyhose,  well at least it was on clearance for $2.00 which is a really good bargain seeing as it usually retails for $12.95,  and there are 2 pairs in the box so I now have some extras at least.

So that’s pretty much everything I have picked up since sometimes in January.  COVID put a real damper on the shopping but at least we are getting back to something like normal.

If you guys like or don’t like this kind of content please let me know in the comments as I really want to write stuff you want to read.



What did I put my wife through? Tales of the Pink Fog.


You know,  I don’t think I have ever apologized to my wife for all the hell I put her through when I would get into “Pink Fog’s” years ago.

For anybody wondering the “Pink Fog” can be described as an intense desire towards your dressing.  Whether that means the actual act itself or wanting to go and buy things for the act.  At one point or another, I was guilty of all that.  And in some respects, I may have been slightly worse than some others.  After a conference, my wife picked up a pamphlet that described the signs of Attention Deficit Disorder in adults,  I actually met 10 of the 12 criteria.  One of the biggest being Hyper Focusing.

Well, what is Hyper Focusing you may ask?

“People with ADHD may immerse themselves so completely in an activity that they want to do or enjoy doing to the point that they become oblivious to everything around them. This concentration can be so intense that an individual loses track of time, other chores, or the surrounding environment. While this level of intensity can be channeled into difficult tasks, such as work or homework, the downside is that ADHD individuals can become immersed in unproductive activities while ignoring pressing responsibilities.”

The quote is taken from here.

Yup,  that’s me in a nutshell,  so that means I can hyperfocus on my dressing to the point where it can be an extreme thought in my head.  What have I done to my poor wife.

The dressing according to my wife was never the problem,  it was when I was incessantly bugging about it that it became a problem.  Whenever I wanted something new or wanted to dress it was her that took the brunt of having to hear about it.  It could be for days or weeks on end that I would go on about it,  looking back it makes me feel like a huge pain.

Thankfully I did (I hope) get better with the Pink Fog.  Firstly because I was able to get over my fears of buying things for myself and secondly because my dressing has evolved to the point where I don’t really go into dressing hiatuses anymore.  The dressing is always close to my thoughts no matter what time of year or how I am feeling anymore,  although I still do find when stressed I do want to dress more still.

Just to get the other side of this conversation I decided to ask my wife some questions about it.

1: How would you describe how my pink fogs affected you? It became your only focus, the only thing you would talk about, the only shopping you wanted to do. It made me want to avoid you.


2: To the best of your recollection, how often did they occur? In the beginning every 4 or 5 months. But they have lessened.


3: What was worse, wanting to dress, wanting to buy things, or just me talking about it? Wanting to buy things. I hate shopping.


4: Was there a time when it became worse? When stress picked up.


5: Did you ever just want the dressing and fogs to go away? No, it was part of you. I accepted that before we were even married. The fog at times I wanted you to focus on something else.


6: I am better now, Right? Yes you are a lot better but I think part of that is because you can feel comfortable going out shopping on your own. I have never liked clothing shopping,  buying makeup and I despise shoe shopping. It just feels like a waste of time and money to me. It has never been me. I am comfortable in Jean’s and tank tops, I barely wear makeup and I would go around barefoot if I could. You call me a hippie. lol, My thing is books, art, wool.

Love ya!
So I was beyond annoying at times,  and when I look back at it I really regret being that way.  I am so glad I was able to get over my fears of going out and buying things for myself,  I think it’s been easier on both of us.
So In closing,  I am very sorry for what I put you through my dear and I am so glad that you accepted me and are still here with me now.  Here is to another 20 or so years.


Thanks for reading


Background image for blog banner from Pixabay by ewxy

How’s the Isolation going?


I miss my wife,  I miss my Kid and I miss the old normal world we had.  Other than that life’s going great.

I am on week four without my wife and kid here and it’s lonely, very lonely.  I can deal with the silence,  but it’s not being able to be with my family that’s the hardest part.  Like I mentioned in my last post,  my wife has had to leave to look after her mom who has had a stroke and is recovering at home.  Since I am still working I am supposed to limit my contact with them until the social isolation restrictions are lifted here.  We only had a handful of confirmed cases here but I can’t take the chance that I could pass it onto my MIL or my wife for that matter.  So my nights are spent at home by myself with only 2 cats for company and let me tell you,  they are terrible conversationalists.

At most I might see my wife and kid an hour or 2 in the span of a week and that’s just when I drop off mail or groceries,  most of our contact now is either text or phone.  It’s the little things I find I miss most,  sitting around watching TV,  eating supper together or heading out like we used to for a trip to the second-hand store to make fun of some of the more unusual things there.

But on a slight upside, seeing as I have the house all to myself it does open up a ton of possibilities for dressing when I have the time.  Most nights I don’t really feel like doing a whole session with makeup and the lot so when I get home I just have a shower and do all that stuff and slip into my nightgown and relax for the rest of the night other than some small chores,  and if I am feeling really good I might even put a splash of lipstick on.

Depending on what I have to do on the weekends I can usually get one day dressed then maybe a half-day if I can fit it in.  I usually try to get all my chores out of the way as early as possible trying not to be too loud to bother other people in the apartment with vacuuming and such.  Then usually by 10 AM, I am all done so I can head off for the bathroom for a shower, shaving.  20190531_153958I can be sitting at my temporary makeup desk AKA the kitchen table.  I can leave my makeup out all the time and even have the room to set up my makeup mirror which is a big help.  This is where I have really been taking my time,  I don’t have to hurry and get my face on.  I can take my time and play with some different colors and styles,  so far it has worked out pretty well.

I am still using the face and eye primers before makeup application and I gotta say they really do help out as far as keeping things in place.  I never really thought they would make all that much difference but they really do.20190604_141407

I try to plan my outfit in my head while I do my makeup,  something fancier at first, and then get into something more casual for the rest of the day/night.  I would love to be able to take pictures and I really do try but the lighting in our apartment is horrendous and even though I take a ton,  most don’t turn out at all.  So it seems I am limited to bathroom mirror selfies or selfies taken in front of the bedroom window where I can get some decent natural light.20190601_144750

So that’s how my isolation has been going.  At this point, Ontario is starting to work on how it will re-open the economy when the instances of new cases drop below a certain number but there is no hard date set as of yet.  So we will continue on like this for the foreseeable future.

I hope all of my readers are safe and healthy.  Keep your chins up and lipstick on,  we will get through this.


Thing’s never stay the same.


So in my last post, I made mention of how my wife has had to go and look after her Mom for at least the next little while,  what I did not get into was the reasoning,  My mother-in-law had a stroke.

The stroke was not as severe as it could have been but at this time she is still suffering the effects of such a dangerous event to the brain.  Her mobility has been decreased and she is still getting confused at times, all of which is normal according to her Doctors.  She should have been in the hospital for at least a week after a stroke of this nature but right now hospitals here would rather you go home and hopefully not end up in ICU with COVID-19 as well.

So depending on what gets discussed after the next 4 weeks of waiting and how well her mom has recovered, there is a chance that we may have to move in with her to help her in the long term.  Currently, my mother-in-law lives alone in a decently sized house all by herself,  there is ample room for my wife, kid and myself to move in and help out while still keeping a space that can be just for us if needed.

My main concern with this as you can tell seeing as I am writing about it on my blog will be my freedom and ability to be able to dress in peace.  I have no issues helping out with my MIL but of course, my mind always goes to the worst-case scenario?  Even with careful planning, there is always the chance that I could be caught by my MIL and I am not sure what the outcome of that situation would be.

This is has been rattling around in my head since my wife brought up the idea of moving in to help her about a week ago.  It’s a challenge here sometimes to make the arrangements so I have the freedom to dress.  The kid has to be gone to friends and I have to make sure everything that I need to get done that day gets done so I have the time to just get ready and then relax in the moment.  How will this work if my MIL needs something and I am midway through my makeup routine?  Sure I can take my makeup off and head up to help if the situation demands it but there is always that chance that I can miss some foundation or my mascara does not come completely off.

Of course, the other option is to come out and just tell my MIL that I am a crossdresser and address the elephant in the room before anything like the latter happens.  I have known my MIL for over 20 years now and couldn’t even begin to tell you how she would react to a situation like this.  Now even if I did tell her I am not under the assumption that she would be welcoming Cynthia with open arms,  no I think it would be the latter and she may be a little uneasy with the notion that her Son-in-law spends his spare time wearing makeup and heels.  And I don’t want any awkwardness,  my relationship with my MIL has been at times, strained to say the least over the years for various reasons.

So what’s the answer to this conundrum?  well, right now we just have to wait and see where she will be medically wise in the next little while and hopefully she will recover enough to be still able to live on her own.

Thanks for reading.


Life Updates On The New Normal.

the new normal

How are all my readers doing?  staying safe and healthy I hope.

Here were are in April of 2020 and things here have taken and slight turn for the worse. As well as social distancing my Mother-in-law has taken ill (Not COVID) and my wife and child have had to pack up and leave to be with her to help her around her house. I have mixed feelings about this both good and bad.

On the good side as I am still working and heading out every day there is always the chance that I could bring home COVID-19 and pass it onto my wife who already has a suppressed immune system and depending on how bad the state of the hospitals at the time would surely succumb to it. So the distance between us now makes me feel a little better as an added measure to make sure she stays safe.

And seeing as I have the house all to myself now I can dress whenever I want. I can now come home and indulge in a full evening of dressing or just pop home from work, shave and throw some jeans and a top on with a splash of lipstick and have a lazy night.

On the bad side, it gets really lonely in the apartment, normally there is always some type of noise whether it is the kid watching youtube videos/gaming or the wife listening to some of her Creepy Pastas, it’s never quiet around here.  You don’t know true silence until you have to endure it. But for the safety of myself and my family, I can and will do this.

So seeing as I do have the opportunity to dress now I have taken the time for the last 4 days to do so in some shape or form whether it be just some jeans, blouse and lipstick like I mentioned before or like Saturday where I went all out.  I had planned to start first thing in the morning but I got caught up doing some chores.  I had to make sure I could bring back in our recycling bins before getting dressed and I had to make at least one trip out to pick up some vital supplies for the elderly lady that lives above us.  She has issues getting out and about so I make it a point to ask if she needs anything before heading out.

The store was not crazy as I was expecting it to be,  people were queuing up outside and would only enter when someone else left. I made a point to pass the makeup aisle and glance at some things I really wanted but at this time I do not want to be browsing,  I just want to head in, get only what I need and back out again. Once back at home I needed to finish some cleaning and go get out recycling boxes that were now finally empty.  It was lunch by the time I had finished all the needed cleaning and I decided to have a bite to eat and then take a quick, short nap.  I woke up at around 2:30 and figured it was now time to start getting really ready.  I had a nice warm shower (It’s chilly here still) and cleaned up a bit,  shaved, toned and moisturized my face before getting half-dressed and sitting myself down in my hastily made kitchen makeup table. I decided it was time to try out the new Maybelline primer 20190602_083832_Richtone(HDR)I had picked up but never had a chance to use yet.  I was a little hesitant to try as I usually never have my makeup on for more than a few hours but seeing as I was starting to get dressed at 3ish I knew I would be wearing it until at least 9.  I decided to use it on my eyes as well seeing as I don’t own an actual eyeshadow primer,  I gotta say it’s a game-changer, turns out I have oily eyelids which is why Most of the time I find my eyeshadow moves all over the place and never stays put. But I kept checking in the mirror and by god, my eyeshadow looked the same all night.  When we are able to shop again I will for sure be picking up some eyeshadow primer from Maybelline.

Once I was sure I had used all the products that I had intended (I usually always forget something) I headed off the bedroom to slip into a dress I had purchased last fall but never had the chance to wear as of yet.  I guess you could call it a Little Black Dress with a velvet finish to it and a pattern on it. DSC07413Once done getting dressed I pulled out all my jewelry and proceeded to get into that and then headed to the living room to put on my nails and once that was done it was time to try and snap a few pictures.20190601_150015

Trying to get decent pictures in a small apartment can be hell and I can’t even find the tripod for my camera so I am stuck using an old cell phone either in the small bathroom mirror or close up shots in my makeup mirror,  not great options.  The rest of the night was spent relaxing on the couch either playing Borderlands 3 or watching Altered Carbon on Netflix.


So for the foreseeable future, this will be my new normal,  being able to dress whenever the urge strikes me,  or when I am not dead on my feet tired from work.  My only issue is what I have had to sacrifice to be here,  sure I can dress whenever I want but at the cost of human companionship,  this really is a double-edged sword.

I hope all of you are safe and sound and your families as well in these weird and trying time.

Be safe and thanks for reading.



The world is on Fire and other life updates.


So here we are almost at the end of March of 2020 and it seems as if the regular way of life we once knew is just a long-forgotten memory at this point.  We are now rushing out to stock up on toilet paper (for some unknown reason) and to strip grocery stores of every last edible piece of food,  but other than that,  how is your 2020 going?

Up until this point 2020 was not going all that bad for us here,  things were for the most part pretty quiet.  Work was going,  Wife and Kid were doing well and Winter was coming to an end so what more could we ask for.

You could almost feel the sense of dread getting closer every day as we watched the news,  more cases appearing and each time it’s a little closer to your doorstep.  At this point here in Ontario, all non-essential places have been closed and only services that are deemed “Needed” are still functioning.  We have been asked to keep social isolating and if you must go out stay at least 6′ away from other people.

In our house, it’s a little bit more dire situation because my wife is already immunocompromised,  so if I was to bring this home it for sure spell trouble for her.  This has even impacted my work as we now have to ask people if they have been out of the country or are currently suffering from symptoms of Covid 19 and if so we will decline to work at their house until they are feeling better.  It’s not just for my safety of myself but everyone else I would come into contact with.

I will admit,  I am stressed.  Everything right now just seems not real to a degree.  Streets and parking lots are empty,  store clerks are now wearing gloves and masks and today I even met a security guard posted at the door of our pharmacy,  it truly is a crazy time.  And what do I want to do when I get stressed out?  Well dress of course,  but I just can’t bring myself to do it.  Our Kid knows and is willing to hide out in their room to give me the time but I can’t do that to them,  it’s not fair at all.  So I do other things to try and help with the stress,  paint my nails,  work on my blog and keeping my legs shaved all seem to be helping a bit.

As for starting for other local Crossdressers never really went anywhere.  I had put out a few messages on some web groups that I knew some local CD’s frequented and didn’t get more than a couple of responses,  which to me seems weird as I know there are other CD’s in this town.  I had wanted to at least have a meeting set up for late summer or early fall of 2020 but I kinda have a feeling that we will still be in some sort social distancing situation by then so meetings would be out anyways.

So I hope all of you (My readers) are safe and healthy and or taking precautions to keep it that way.

Stay safe,  and thanks for reading.


Banner image by CristianIS on Pixaby.


Moving Forward In 2020

moving forward

So a new year and a new decade are here, and I’m feeling more alone than ever.

And this is not a slight against my awesome wife who lets me dress whenever I can find the time,  but it’s just not the same as having friends that have the same interests as I do,  I am almost positive that my wife does not want to hear about my latest lipstick purchase and how well the formulation is supposed to be great.  So what’s a lonely Crossdresser supposed to do?

When I first went out to coffee with Shelia she had discussed a possible plan of having meetings for other local CD’s but at that point it was just a idea,  an idea I can’t stop thinking about as I am now wishing to get out and meet more people,  so where do we try to take the idea from here?

Safety Is Paramount:

After talking about the plan on starting a group to my wife,  her only concern was about the safety of myself and others that may want to attend,  how do we ensure the safety and anonymity of anyone that would like to head out to a meeting.  I have sent some emails out to other groups in larger cities to see how they handle the situations and we will see what they say.

A Safe Place To Meet:

The perfect place would be a quiet spot where we could come and go without drawing too much attention and I already think I have the perfect spot.  Here in the town there is a community house that can be rented, either just a room or the whole house.  I am thinking the whole house would work the best as it would give space to those that want to come and get dressed there instead of showing up dressed.


I am thinking that mostly,  meetings would just be a comfortable way for people to meet others like themselves and actually have time and the space to dress for awhile as in some instances it’s very hard if not impossible.  I would also open the group up to spouses as well as at times they also need a place to vent and get help with accepting the situation they may have now found themselves in.  Of course if does go without saying that the group would not only be open to Crossdressers but anyone who deviates from the gender norms when it comes to clothing.

Special Guests:

I would love to eventually be able to have guests come to the meetings,  the first few I can think of are makeup artists and possible people from local clothing / lingerie stores for proper fittings for some people and possible sales for them.  I already know of a couple of friendly stores in the area so I am sure I would be able to bring something together.

So I guess for now this is my little pet project for 2020.  If this does go any further than this post I will be sure to try and keep my blog updated with how it all seems to be going.

Thanks For Reading


Image from banner by jingoba on Pixaby


2019 In Review


2020 is here so I thought I would take a look back at what has come about in 2019 for myself and family.  Keep in mind this will be rather long and full of pictures of makeup and clothes because I had quite a few posts I just didn’t get around to finishing last year,  so I threw them all together into one large year-end type post.

Starting off 2019

I started off 2019 in a good way but that quickly came to an end.  It was only a couple of weeks in and I ended up breaking my leg and pretty severely at that.  I required 4 days in the hospital,  4 months of healing and 2 surgeries to repair the break.  I now have some really wicked scars on my lower leg and knee area and a nice chunk of metal as well.  My awesome wife was so great during all of this because for the first week or two I barely moved from her recliner that she so graciously let me used while I recuperated.  I can guarantee this woman loves me after having to put up with my broken ass for 4 months straight.

I am pretty sure light colored pantyhose or tights are out now as I will need a way to cover up the scars,  I am sure my dreams of becoming a leg model are now out the window.

Made It Out

I was able to connect with another Crossdresser living in the same city as me and we were able to head out for coffee together.  It was nice being able to talk to someone face to face who has had some of the same experiences as me in life.  They are a lot farther into their dressing than I am seeing as they have been out before dressed and at this point, I have not gone past my back yard but it was awesome hearing some of their stories and learning more about them.  We will for sure heading out again to meet when all the holiday dust settles.  You can read about our first meet up here.

What I bought this year

I tend not to spend a lot of money on clothes just for the simple fact that I don’t get to wear them all that much,  so when I do buy something I either rely on 50% off sales or thrift store finds.  I really only picked up 2 new pieces of clothes in 2019,  which is fine because the wife is complaining about how much space Cynthia’s clothes are taking up in the closet.


I kept it simple with a pair of nice used jeans from a thrift store that looks brand new,    And on a trip to Penningtons in the fall, the wife bought me a mesh blouse and I went back later on and bought a dress with some of my tip money.



The blouse is super versatile and can be dressed up or down but it’s mesh so it needs a tank top underneath it at least.  The dress feels like velvet and looks really good.  My only complaint is the low cut neckline,  I need to get something that comes up pretty high to be able to wear it properly as most of my bra’s show up underneath it.

This year I also started to buy a little bit more jewelry as well with some sets of clip-on earrings from the thrift store and some rings and bracelets from Penningtons.


The rings were in a set of five and I am sure they were size 11,  if I move up to the size 12 for the next set I think it will be better.  IMG_1000The bracelets were not such a great fit as I could not get them over my thumbs without dislocating them.  The bracelets also came in a set of 5 and luckily most were very thin so I was able to cut them and spread them apart to allow me to get them on,  the thicker bracelet was gifted to my wife.  I believe the ones I cut could get a dab of hot glue to make them a bit safer and stop them from snagging on my clothes.


If this is your first time reading my blog,  Hi I am Cynthia and I love Lipstick.  So ya know I bought more this year but again it was always on sale and only when it was 5.99 or below.  Plus sometimes when getting it from Shoppers Drug Mart I get 100 PC Optimum points for every dollar spent on Revlon Lipstick,  it’s a win/win really.

028 Cherry Blossom – Pearl


046 Bombshell Red – Creme


047 Dare To Be Nude – Matte


048 Audacious Mauve – Matte


049 Rise Up Rose – Matte


054 Femme Future Pink – Matte


055 Forward Magenta – Matte


057 Power Move – Matte


477 Black Cherry – Creme


525 Wine With Everything – Creme


654 Ravish Me Red – Creme


677 Siren – Creme


Revlon Lip Liners in Fuchsia, Red and Pink


Maybelline 379 Fuchsia For Me


388 Plum For Me


I know I already did a post about this but I want to brag about my Xmas gift a bit more so here are some better pics of my M∙A∙C lipstick that my kid got me.

M∙A∙C Cremesheen Lipstick in Brave Red


Me wearing my new M∙A∙C Brave Red.

As you can see there is quite a few of the Revlon Super Lustrous Matte Is Everything shades,  turns out this line is being discontinued and a new line coming out so all the old stock at Shoppers Drug Mart is being cleared,  I only picked out some colors I would normally never try and will see how they look on me.  Worst case scenario if they look terrible I can give them to the kid and they can use them for cosplaying.



When I shave my face I have to try and get really close and to be quite honest I have never really found a difference between expensive razors and the cheap ones.  To be able to get all the hairs I can I am constantly shaving in the same spot and it gets irritated which I can deal with but it’s the little ingrown hairs that really bother me.  Even though I always clean my face before shaving it’s still a problem.  IMG_1062I decided to try out a toner after shaving to see if that lessens the breakouts and so far it seems to have worked.  I picked up the Olay Cleanse Toner with Witch Hazel,  it has not stopped the breakouts totally but it was gone down considerably.

I was about halfway through my bottle of Olay Quench body lotion when I finally got around to shaving my legs again after everything had healed all up.  I only got 2 squirts out before the pump decided to die.  Figured I would just head out to the closest drug store and pick up a new one,  not so easy.  Turns out the only place in town that sells it is the large “W” store that is almost a 15 min drive from home.  When I finally did get the new one the bottle was almost twice the size and to be quite honest I don’t like the scent as much as I liked the last one although the formulation seems to work just a well.



I only picked up a few things in 2019 that are nail related as I have a fairly decent sized collection of polishes and nails still.  One disappointment was that I was not able to get the Nina Ultra Pro white base coat the last time I went looking for it at Sally Beauty and the next best one I could find by Finger Paints did not really meet my expectations.  I mean it worked okay but was not as a vibrant white as the other product I used previously which meant (At least on me) the colors I put on top seemed kinda muted.


From left to right are Nina Ultra Pro in Hot, Vixen and, Wet Glaze then Finger Paints in A Hue Too Many and Folk He-Art.  The shades in Finger Paints are great but the brush size is a little too small for my liking,  although it’s great for when I do my wife’s nails.

So that’s pretty much everything I did and or bought in 2019.  Here is hoping that all of my readers had a safe and happy holidays and that the New Year brings you health and happiness.

Thanks For Reading.